Dads are amazing and can teach you important life lessons. However, some times dads can be embarrassing and do things that make us face-palm. These stories share the 'just dad things' that make you want to either cringe forever or laugh out loud!
Fanny Pack Drama!
“My parents have been divorced since I was 2. Even though I still saw my mom on weekends, I grew up as ‘a daddy’s girl’. My dad was always the one to really take care of me, spoil me, etc. Anyway, when I was younger, I had always wanted to go to Disney World but it was always too expensive. Finally, at 13, my dad decided since my grandpa (rebellious kind of guy, in a motorcycle club grandpa) moved to Florida, we could go visit him and go to Disney World.
My dad has always been a little ‘Danny Tanner-ish’ and wore a fanny pack. (Since I was 13, and it was just him and I, I was a little embarrassed) …one of the days we decided to just go to the ocean with my great aunt. My aunt and I started feeding the seagulls and my dad was just chilling in one of those low to the ground beach chairs with his fanny pack next to it.
All of the sudden, the tide comes up and sweeps up my dad’s fanny pack. My aunt and I are still feeding seagulls and then out of nowhere on a packed beach – my dad starts yelling- ‘MY PURSE, MY PURSE!’ Then he starts running and falling into the ocean. My aunt and I just started dying laughing. My dad did retrieve ‘his purse’ and he told us not to say anything to grandpa.
As soon as I got back to grandpa’s house I said – ‘Oh my gosh, Grandpa! Guess what dad just did!'”
Crashing A Frat Party!
“My dad went to Father’s weekend for my sorority.
My dad likes to believe he’s 21 despite being 50 with 4 kids. At fathers weekend he got bored at our father’s event and decided to recruit my roommate’s dad to crash a frat party. Well, he succeeded and proceeded to walk down our street until he found a party to crash. He and his new friend knocked on the door and asked to see the place.
Once inside they made fun of the lack of good alcohol the party had and proceeded to buy a keg of ‘the good stuff’ for the party. He then starts to make friends with the guys at the party and starts taking shots with them.
Fast forward an hour and now my dad is showing the music he used to listen to when he was in college the ask him to go on the stage and play it on the speakers. Well, he proceeds to play some songs and jumps on the table and starts to dance on the table. The table then breaks and my dad is carried off as the coolest dad ever.
It’s been a year and I am still hearing people talk about him.”
Lighting His Wife On Fire?
“One time my dad set my mom on fire.
This was about two years ago, we were camping and were having trouble getting a fire started. My dad remembered that he had a container of flame accelerant in the trailer. I think it was lighter fluid or something. Anyways, he squirted some of it into the fire pit and we got it going.
A little bit later, he decided it would be a really great idea to just use up the rest of the accelerant so he pours it on the fire. Not the wood, like before. FLAMES.
So the bottle obviously starts on fire as well, and my dad freaks out and throws it on the ground and then tries to stomp on it to put it out, which led to a stream of flames and fluid shooting out from the bottle and landing right on my mom’s leg.
It only burned for about 5 seconds and I kept yelling STOP DROP AND ROLL at her (which she, of course, did not do) and tried to hold my laughter in until my mother was no longer ablaze. My dad isn’t in charge of starting fires anymore.”
A Dad’s Way Of Dealing With The Guy His Daughter Didn’t Want To Date
“One time my dad scared the life out of a guy that wouldn’t take no for an answer
I got pretty much peer pressured into going on a double date with a guy I hated and I had told him I hated him. We both worked at the local fast food joint. I was fresh out of high school and naive and felt like I had to be nice. He asked me out in a way that put me on the spot too, on his day off in the middle of my shift he showed up dressed like he was going to a wedding brought me a bunch of flowers and asked me in the middle of a lunch rush mortifying me and everyone started chanting say yes. I agreed and ran out on my shift crying and feeling like I couldn’t back out.
It was painfully obvious during and after the date, I was not interested. He kept calling me, texting me, leaving me threatening and weird voicemails. He even drove by my house a few times.
My parents noticing my change in mood asked me what was up and I told them and played them the voicemails
My dad asked me when we next had the same shift and I told him
Then, my dad came to the restaurant after his factory shift. My dad is a big dude and looks scary, especially covered in grease and wearing a uniform
My dad burst into the restaurant, gives me a hug, asks me ‘Where is the stupid guy?’ everyone is frozen in place, and slack jawed, anyone that knew my dad knew him as a goofy kind guy so they were just in awe of this whirlwind that had busted in the door. I pointed to the kitchen and this dopey boy looks like he is going to pee his pants
My dad points right at him and says, ‘LEAVE MY DAUGHTER THE HECK ALONE OR I WILL GO BACK TO JAIL!’
Then he tells me he loves me and my mom is cooking dinner. He waves to some of my friends he knows and walks out the door like nothing ever happens.
That guy went on break and never came back. And he never bothered me again.”
She Noticed Her Dad’s Fingers Were Missing!
“About 5 years ago, my dad accidentally cut three of his fingers off in our garage with a saw.
My niece was only like 5 months old at the time, so growing up, she’s never seen my dad with all of his digits. Anyway, when she was about 2 1/2, she noticed that one of his hands was different.
So, one day she asked him ‘Grandpoppy, what happened to your fingers?’ My dad looked down at his hand all shocked and said: ‘Someone stole them!’ Her face had the look of pure horror, and she screamed, ‘Who stole your fingers?’ My dad looked at my mom and said, ‘Grandmommy stole them!’ My niece ran up to my mom and started beating on her legs, searching her jeans pockets to give back her Grandpoppy’s fingers. My dad, man.”
Stealing The Neighbor’s Lawn Ornaments
“One time my dad stole a bunch of plastic flamingos from his neighbor’s lawn.
He made a running gag out of it using friends who were traveling. He had post cards sent from all over the states (and some internationally too I think) saying things like, ‘Hi, mom! The Grand Canyon is really lovely this time of year!’ etc. He eventually coordinated to plant them all back in the woman’s yard, some even adorned with little flamingo outfits. The woman had actually set up a ‘Welcome home, kids’ banner in the yard and had beers out for my dad.
Easily one of my favorite ‘Dad’ stories. That man never refuses to go the extra mile for a bit, which is probably why I have come to admire that so much in others.”
Proving Whether Or Not He Can Handle Spicy Food?
“One time my dad decided he wanted to show off how resistant to spicy food, he was. My little brother and I had come across some sort of absurdly hot pepper, taken from my then-girlfriend’s garden. I had tasted one on my own, and I swear, they nearly blinded me for a couple seconds after munching into them.
Anyway, my brother challenges my dad to eat a handful of these little firebombs, and of course, my dad can’t refuse, as he prides himself on loving spicy food. My dad and my brother are standing in the kitchen, my dad takes a few and starts chewing, and showing no emotion or pain he calls my brother closer to look into his mouth to see he was chewing them.
My dad opens his mouth, and my brother moves close to peer inside. It was at this moment that the heat finally hit my dad. He involuntarily projectile spews the chewed up pepper and pepper juice…directly into my brothers open, staring eyes.
Nearly immediately, my dad takes off in one direction towards the sink and began running water over his tongue, while my brother ran to the bathroom and, fully clothed, jumps into the shower and rinses out his eyes while screaming he is blind and needs an ambulance. My dad is cackling while he moves on to milk, just pouring it over his tongue into the sink, while I check on my brother, who is sitting looking forsaken on the floor on the shower crying and staring up into the falling water.”
Dad Gets A Car Wash Experience!
“My dad almost got stuck in a car wash.
We had just finished a day of skiing with our neighbors and my dad decided that the car was just too dirty to go home with. We pull up to one of those single-car car washes (the ones where you put in a couple quarters and go in one door, the door closes, then you go out the other door after.) After he puts in his 8 quarters he pulls into the car wash. Nothing happens.
Confused, he pulls out then drives back in again. Nothing. He continues this a few times getting more and more frustrated as he had already paid the money for it. This was $2 on the line here! Well, eventually he just says screw it and walks in (there was a door on the inside and he was trying to see what was up).
WELL, that happened to be a good time for the entire car wash to start.
From the car, it looked like everything was happening in slow motion. He got this massive look of panic and to a headfirst dive for the door. He did manage to make it out in time, but not without taking a face full of snow. At this point, he is pretty angry. He has yet to get his car washed, while almost getting a wash for himself. He gets in the car and all of us are trying not to laugh as he is clearly not amused by any of this.
When he pulls up to the front where the manager is, he gets out of the car and screams at the top of his lungs ‘I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE CARWASHING EXPERIENCE.’ At which point we all burst out laughing.”
Tired Dad Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Drive!
“A while back, my dad was quite tired (recently moved to a new house). It was 8 AM on a Sunday, going to a ‘father-son-pancake-breakfast’.
We decided to take the recently-finished new interstate. Dad turns onto highway drives past two bright red WRONG WAY DO NOT ENTER signs. So now we are headed down the exit ramp. I shout out ‘Dad, you’re going the wrong way!’ and he’s like ‘Huh?’ and so I repeat it. Finally, he gets my point and turns the car around.
Two minutes later, we’re on the interstate (in correct lane of travel) and he puts on the cruise control. I notice he has his turn signal on. I mention that he has his signal on. Instead of reaching for turn signal on the left side of the wheel, he reaches for the column shifter and put the car in neutral. Since the cruise control was on, as the car slowed down the engine RPMs went up and up until I made it clear ‘Dad, you put the car in neutral.’ So he then put it back in gear and nobody died.”
Inviting Himself To Third-Wheel His Daughter And Her Boyfriend?
“One time my Dad gate crashed my first date with my now husband. I was 19, my boyfriend was 24. Being the first time I had dated a ‘cool older guy,’ I was nervous and met my boyfriend out on the street hoping we could just go. My boyfriend, being raised with the right manners and morals, insisted on coming in to meet my Dad. Cue polite awkward conversation where Dad asked what we had planned that night.
The exchange went something along the lines of:
Boyfriend: ‘We’re going to dinner and a movie!’
Dad: ‘I’m at home alone tonight with no plans. I wish I could go to dinner and a movie!’
Boyfriend: (nervous reaction) ‘You could come if you like?’
We spent the next 20 minutes with my Dad sitting in the front seat of my boyfriend’s car, complaining if we didn’t leave soon we would miss the start of the movie. All the while I was on the verge of tears I was so embarrassed and my boyfriend was just silent trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
It worked out in the end. Now we’re married with a couple of kids and they go on man dates together all the time!”
Dad’s Punk Concert Experience…
“I was 16 at a punk show in a small bar when my Dad showed up drunk and wearing one of my band t-shirts. Things were fine at first, I was in the pit, no problems, my Dad just watching…but there was this one guy swinging a beer bottle in the pit like a jerk.
My Dad eventually jumps in and shoves the guy in the chest with two flat palms so hard the guy lands flat on his back. The guy immediately jumps back up on his feet with said bottle and tries to swing. Dad does the same move again knocking him flat on his back.
The guy jumps up a second time still clutching the beer bottle. Dad knocks him down a third time and this time pounces on him and starts boxing his face while he’s down. I run up to protect his back and a few seconds later the bouncers show and mop the floor with all three of us. I was a local and I was also the head bouncers paperboy, so my Dad and I got to stay while the other guy and his friends were kicked out.
Eventually, the bouncers asked us to leave out the back door because the guy and his buddies were waiting for us out front. I probably went to that place fifty times over the years; did and saw a lot of crazy stuff, and that was the only time I was ever asked to leave.
My Dad is 5’3, by the way, but he’s built like a gorilla. I’m 5’6.
First and last time he ever came to a show. He hates that kind of music. I guess he just wanted to spend some time with me.”
Confusing The Telemarketer?
“One night before dinner, our house received a call from a telemarketer. Keep in mind this was in the days before we had cell phones and caller ID so there was really no way we could screen the call.
So my father answers and the telemarketer gives him the spiel for a good minute or so. My father being the delightful smart-alec he is, says, ‘I’m sorry could you please repeat what you just said?’ The telemarketer again repeats his business for the call.
I recall my dad having his silly face and his silly voice and again says, ‘I’m sorry can you please repeat what you just said.’ My brother and I were cracking up with dad and his trolling antics, but then came to a halt when my mom yelled, ‘Get off the dang phone Ned!’ Thus ending the fun.
This is probably not my best Dad story, but it is one that sticks out in my mind the most.”
Finding Out The Real Man She Married
“When I was 17, my crush arrived to pick me up to go hang out; he didn’t come to the front door, he just honked from the driveway.
So my Dad got all angry, that’s not how you treat a lady, honking is unacceptable, and didn’t let me go out! He brought up that scenario repeatedly for years, as a baseline for how my dates should treat me. He hated that guy.
I got married a few years later, and my husband died a few years into our relationship. A few years after he died, I was joking with my dad about the guy honking his horn and my dad looks at me and says, ‘Wait. That was the same guy??!’ Yes Dad, that was the same guy! He’d never realized that I’d married the honking guy! I didn’t know that he didn’t know!
My kids love that story, it’s pretty hilarious!”
The Smells Of Blockbuster?
“So this was when Blockbuster was still a thing. When I was in middle school my Dad and I had to run some errands. One of them was to drop off some movies my parents had rented. Ok, no big deal I’ve done this before I get out the car put it in the drop box and go.
Well on this day, when we pull in we see a truck with a window AC sticking out the back window. Like they were actually using to cool their truck. It’s the middle of July in the southern USA, so it’s hot. Whatever so we pull up, now mind you our windows are up. We park and we both look at each other and I said to Dad, ‘My God what is that smell?!’ Dad looks past me which caused me to look out my window and I see the truck. Full of trash.
Me: ‘Is that the truck we are smelling?! Why do they have a window AC? Omg, those are large people in a small truck!’
My dad covering his nose at this point: ‘Here are the movies dear, go drop them off.’
Me: ‘What why? I didn’t even watch those movies. Those are yours and moms!’
Dad: ‘Because I’m not getting out and smelling that even more and because I told you to do it. Now hurry up so we can leave.’
So I was mad but I get out choking on the cloud of stench that took up the parking lot to drop off HIS movies.
The whole time I just see my dad laughing so hard he’s crying. I get in the car and tell him to go so we can get away from the smell and he’s still laughing so hard he can’t drive.
I got a lot of stories like that from younger years. He was a good man and still makes me laugh to this day. I do love him I just get to see how his and mom’s drinking has turned them in the shells of who they once were.”
Embarrassment At The Diner…
“My dad, my sister, and I were sitting at a diner getting some lunch. My dad and my sister were sitting next to each other on one side of the booth, and I was sitting opposite them. He was being goofy all day, acting like a hyper little kid (he gets this way a lot). He suddenly noticed my menu had an insert and his did not, which he promptly pointed out and shouted, ‘I don’t have one of THESE!’ He grabbed my menu and ripped it off the table…my water was accidentally perched on the corner of the menu.
When he flipped my menu, he threw my water over and splashed my sister with it. The water was everywhere, even in my sister’s purse. She was livid, but my dad and I were laughing so hard we couldn’t even catch our breath.”
Dad Vs. The Vacuum Cleaner?
“Back in the day, my dad got so drunk he thought this really calm guy was trying to start a fight with him by staring at him. This guy wouldn’t look away, and my dad thought he was trying to have a staring competition with him, which in his drunken mind, made him angry because he couldn’t win.
So he starts beating this guy up, proper punches and kicks the lot, before his just as drunk friends pulled him off the poor man, who all this time was just still staring at him.
So my dad starts hurling abuse at the guy, telling him to knock it off, that he would beat him up again if he didn’t screw off, all whilst his friends were trying to hold him back. All this time, the man wasn’t saying anything and refused to fight back.
Why wasn’t he fighting back?
Because it was Henry the Hoover.
My dad beat up a Hoover thinking it was winning a staring competition with him.”