Not every guy out there is evil, but that doesn't mean all of them are perfect. First impressions are very important! These fathers show how the personality traits of the men that date their daughters, impact their decision of how they treat them and think about them.
The Way He Looked At Her And The Effort He Made Was More Than Telling
“Her current and first ever boyfriend. They have known each other since she was 15 and he was 14, over the internet. He grew up in Wales, we are from Germany. Over the years nobody was showing interest in her and the only boy she had ever liked was some jerk boy who lead her on for fun for a while (though they never dated) and disappeared out of her life a few months after she met him.
Her self-esteem was at an all-time low (and trust me she is beautiful beyond measure, it’s just that she doesn’t have very much social confidence) by the time she was 18. On her 19th birthday, she left to go ‘hang out with some friends’ and when she was coming home she forgot to hide a Facebook post with pictures of her and this boy. I asked her about it, and she told me about him: they had been talking on the internet for the past 3 years, he was from Wales, and he had flown out to meet her on the weekend of his 18th birthday and also to celebrate hers. She told me he had helped her with school, friend problems, and had been a shoulder to cry on. She didn’t tell me in case I tried to stop it or something.
At first, I was angry and found it suspicious that he would do something like that. Until eventually a few months later I got to meet him when he came to visit again. We had many mutual interests – cars, computers, etc. He was very well spoken and very smart, funny, and most of all it was quite clear to me that he adored my daughter. The way he looked at her was all I needed to make judgement, add on that he flew 1,400km out to meet her.
They moved in together about 2 years ago. They’re 23 and 24. He asked for my permission to marry her a few weeks ago, and of course, my answer is yes!”
The Rich Man That Makes Her Happy
“My daughter and I have always been close, and people have commented that she’s a female version of me. She’s in medical practice in NYC (Weill-Cornell) – a successful young woman and if I may say so, very attractive. She’s dated on and off over the years but of course, during residency, she didn’t do much dating so when she finished up and took the job at Weill-Cornell I was hoping she’d meet someone. Apparently, she has.
Fortunately, I have a spy on my side, my son, her younger brother. They have always been close and have done many things together over the years. She invites him up to the city for concerts and things, and he’s met the fellow she’s now living with. Her brother says their shared apartment is a serious upgrade from where she was living in the Village, that the guy is very nice and comes from a good family. In fact, my daughter has been to visit the parents at least twice. This past Christmas she flew in from NYC on Christmas Eve so we could have dinner and Christmas morning together with her brother, then she flew back to NYC. I thought it was because she had to work, but she actually picked up her boyfriend and they flew to London together so he could meet her mother (which I found out later from her brother). According to my son, he works in investment real estate, has a weekend place in Montauk, and obviously adores my daughter. And, after a few drinks, my son also let slip she’s a bit embarrassed by me – no money, which is unfortunately common for someone who paid for two college educations and for an ex-wife to live in London. And if you work for a non-profit that supports children with medical needs, you ain’t ever going to get rich.
Oddly enough, this wasn’t as upsetting as people tell me it should be. I guess you should expect your children to pick up a bad habit or two from each parent, and in this case, she got from her mother a love of money. I expected that from her mother, who came from a very privileged background. Just didn’t expect that to be passed on, like blue eyes.
So she’s with someone who treats her well and will provide that financial status she desires. As long as she is happy, I’ll be content.”
A Man Who Is Always There For His Family
“My youngest daughter used to like to bring home guys she met on Vampire Freaks. In general, I don’t like people to begin with, but the guys she was bringing home didn’t come off as being terribly motivated. Most did not give me the impression that they would treat my daughter with the respect I felt she was due.
Then she brought home J.
My youngest is like me; brutally honest. She pulls no punches. She explained to him I don’t like lazy, unmotivated children who came off as being owed something and wouldn’t be respectful of me or my daughter. From what I understood, he took it all in stride, checked that his insurance was paid up and told her he wanted to meet the family. She brought him over.
She introduced him. I made some comments concerning my skepticism about him. He asked me to give him a chance. I told him ‘Alright. Let’s go outside and talk.’
We did. I explained to him that I was a researcher for a living (back before I became a paralegal). I explained to him that my daughter had been badly treated by other boyfriends and that at this point, the next one that hurt her would regret it. I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘You understand that if you are the next one to hurt her, there is no hole on this planet you can hide in that I won’t find you?’
He said, ‘Yes sir.’ I was kind of shocked he said sir and did so without hesitation. We talked a bit more. I found out he held down a 40-hour job as a landscaper in Kansas City, that we liked a lot of the same music and video games.
Over the course of time, he has been very good to my daughter. Frankly, he treats her like the princess I think she is. Eventually, they married. He’s not just my son in law; he’s also a friend. He (and his parents) are people of exceptional moral character, IMO.
They had a child two years ago this October. The child has a rare genetic disorder (Pyruvate Dehydrogenase Complex Deficiency). Frankly, she’ll be lucky if she (my granddaughter) makes it to her teen years. J has stood by my daughter and his daughter without fail, through the massive amounts of seizures she has, the special diet she has to have and the high amount of doctor and ER visits. Their life is not easy. He gets tired and depressed, but he never gives up.
Ultimately, what made him stand out is being a good man who is down for his family. I couldn’t ask for anything more!”
He Asked The Father For His Blessing
“A few months ago I got a call from my daughter’s boyfriend. We’d met but hadn’t got to know each other much. There was an ongoing ‘we should all get together’ thing for a long time, but we were all busy so it never seemed to work out.
Turns out the reason he wanted to get together was so that he could ask my blessing to propose. His plan was that we’d go out to dinner and he’d wait until she got up and left, then ask if he could marry my daughter.
It was looking like it wasn’t going to happen that way, so he just called and did it over the phone. We had a long conversation. He explained his plan for how he was going to pop the question a few weeks from then, and I gave my blessing and was pretty damned happy. He’s a good guy.
Then an hour or so later my daughter managed to finally get us all on the same page to go out to dinner. That night. She had no idea what had just happened, and the dinner was me and my future son in law trying to act nonchalant and pretend we hadn’t had a long conversation about their future together.”
If He Can Ask That Awkward Of A Question Then He Must Be A Confident Guy!
“My daughter had just turned 18 and came to me asking for help in getting birth control pills.
She’s had the same boyfriend since she was 14. He’s a great kid who holds down a job, manages his money well, respectful and a bit shy, just an all round decent type. Also, has very strict parents.
So one day I get a call that his first car has broken down on a highway nearby, and he could use some help getting his car towed to the shop and a ride home. He’s unusually quiet on the ride home, and suddenly he speaks up and asks me if I could stop somewhere and buy him some condoms. Cue 2 minutes of dead silence and embarrassment. I pull into a Lawtons and spend a good 15 minutes looking for condoms I could only guess as appropriate, and return to the car to give them to him. More blushing and awkwardness. Surprise!
When we arrive at his place he earnestly asks if he could leave them in my truck! So I store them in the bin, and they are still in that brown paper bag they came in.
A month later they went missing. He’s finishing college soon, she’s an educator, and they’re still very committed to each other. I see bouquets and babies in the future. I’m good with that.”
He Treated Him More As A Best Friend…But The Guy Was A Bit Lazy
“My favorite was the guy who was extremely outgoing. I mean, he literally plopped down on my couch after introducing himself and proceeded to watch the baseball game with me. He also knew quite a bit about all sports, played every sport in school, got into a few scrapes for drinking and such and had a great (immature) sense of humor like myself. At that point, I realized that I liked him more as one of my friends than as the guy dating my daughter… and it turned out badly as I expected.
Thankfully she has moved on and is currently engaged to a very nice guy who treats her as an equal and truly considers her his best friend.”
Sadly She Broke Up With The Guy Who Was Helping Her Life Out
“My oldest daughter is a drug addict.
It really took hold of her in her late teens and early twenties, and as an extra ‘bonus’ the boys she took to dating downgraded from basic loser to world class junkie loser. I met more guys that were going nowhere in the fast lane than anyone ever should. Somehow she eventually found the strength to get clean (almost 8 years now). She got a job, went to meetings, and by some miracle found a guy that understood who she was and helped her stay on track.
They moved in together, and it was such a pleasure to see her being productive, getting herself financially ahead of things – it was so obvious how much he loved her and was invested in her. This was ‘the guy’ any father dreams of his daughter finding.
Then one day, out of the blue she broke up with him. Turns out she had been backsliding – with other drugs and prescription meds and the more he tried to keep her on track the more she rejected it. Anyone that’s ever dealt with a junkie knows that for them it’s never their mistake and it’s always someone else that doesn’t get it. So I guess she finally ran out of lies and just walked away from him.
It’s been three years now and while she hasn’t slid back to full junkie, she is back to watching her life fall apart and dating losers that really don’t care about her. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
So even though my other daughters have successful lives and are married to wonderful men, that guy that’s no longer in the picture is still my favorite because for what was too brief a time, he helped bring my daughter back to me.”
He Actually Preferred The Fourth Boyfriend…
“If I count the two shortish teenage relationships my daughter had, she had a total of five relationships and the last one actually turned into an engagement recently. My personal favorite was the fourth one, but he wasn’t necessarily the best boyfriend for her at the time.
He’s an intelligent guy, likes the same music as I do, enjoyed giving me a hand in restoring the old-timer (seemed eager to learn, too; he didn’t know anything about cars the first time), and we generally had a good time together. So, on a personal level, he’s the one I could connect with the best. More importantly, he is a very caring guy and they always seemed to have a great time together doing all kinds of interesting things.
However, when he got into a major depression, it was hard for my daughter. Eventually, they split up because he needed time to focus on his own life; one of his problems was that he always focused on caring for someone else instead of taking care of his own problem. They did remain friends, though. He recovered pretty well, so I thought they might give it another go, but they had both found someone else before that could happen. I still see him occasionally, because my daughter is still good friends with him. (The two couples actually plan activities together, so that really seems to work).
I don’t really have such a personal relationship with her current fiancé, but, nonetheless, he’s a great guy and I’m happy they are together.
Oh, by the way, the second high school guy was a jerk who cheated on her after two months and the boyfriend of the first serious relationship was okay-ish, but, truthfully, a bit dull, which didn’t work with my daughter’s active lifestyle (hiking, cycling, running). The first high school boyfriend was very shy but was always polite and nice.
I don’t think I was an overly protective or scary dad. My approach to all the scary stuff (scary for dads) was to have, or at least try to have, an open relationship with both of my children. They learned about relationships, mutual respect, sex (both protection and what it is/what to expect), confidentiality, and stuff like that throughout their youth from an early age. That didn’t mean that I wasn’t scared, but it did mean I trusted her (up to a level). I know a lot of teenagers are curious about sex; I know a lot of them experiment; therefore, my first priority was safety, both emotionally and physically.
So, not all dads are going to kill you if you so much as look at their daughter.”
Definitely The Best Guy She Ever Dated
“Well, I have 4 daughters. 3 are happily married. The other one is still dating. She is 23 now and has had maybe 2 serious BFs. They were both nice lads I suppose. The first guy was a bit dull. He was into his car a bit too much, I hate cars. I drive because I have to and as long as it doesn’t breakdown I care not for performance and what not.
Anyway, I think the very best guy she dated was a dude called Bruce Callaghan! He sounded like an Irish cop. I liked that straight away. He was bearded, tattooed and looked a little like he could fell trees with his hands. He smelt nice and when he shook my hand it was the right grip of friendly and manly.
I have always been protective of my youngest girl. But Bruce was a stand-up guy. He worked for his dad’s construction company as a carpenter, a skill taught to him by his father. He owned his own house and had built some stuff hot decking in his garden. He was engaging to talk to, polite, funny and seemed to respect and adore my youngest daughter. He even joined us to meet my parents one weekend. I told my mother what a great guy he was, sadly she slapped me so hard I lost 3 teeth.
My daughter stopped seeing Bruce 2 months ago and moved in with a 250lbs bald headed woman called Brenda. But I still text Bruce now and again.”
He Was Already A Part Of The Family
“The one she dated the most times is my favorite!! There was one young man who I think was the first ‘other kid’ she ever came into contact with.
All their lives, they each had a certain circle of close friends.
In her circle, he was that one best friend who happened to be a boy.
In his circle, she was that one close friend who happened to be a girl.
As the teen years approached and feelings started to creep in, I don’t think they were physically active at first, but it inevitably came to that. I am not sure exactly when they had sex for the first time but I AM convinced that once they did they both had other partners in college, but I don’t think it was love. Their eventual marriage became inevitable, and with it the twins came along.
So, not sure he really did or said any one thing that gave me the good feeling.
He was always around. They always liked and looked after each other. They stuck up for each other in school, and online.
He always struck me as a good person. He treated her well, occasionally beat up guys who did treat her bad, and every dog I had absolutely loved him. Most spouse abusers and some child abusers are abusive of animals as well, that’s one warning sign, and it clearly was NOT present.
As I got to know him I liked him more and more. I see what she sees in him.
She’s normally the talkative type. He is the one who starts off quiet, and then as he gets to trust you, he starts to open up, and between the two it’s hard to get a word in edgewise.
Just like my family!!
One day about a week after she had graduated from college, he was scheduled to finish his classes the following February. They were in our house, and he was the one who asked me to come into the living room.
I sat down we started talking. He said, ‘Over the last couple of weeks we have discussed marriage more than once. We want to know how you feel.’ I said ‘You’ve been together basically all your lives, so I don’t see why not!’ they stood up and high five’d and I knew!”
This Guy Thinks Very Highly Of His Daughter
“Honestly no guy is the perfect guy.
My daughter is about to hit 26, she just got married this year to a great guy. Half of me likes him fine.
The other half wants to snap every one of his bones and feed them to my dog.
Seriously, I’ve hated everyone. Is no such thing as ‘good enough’ and there never will be.
However, the dude that she married is good, kind, loving, hard working. Although, I would still saw his head off with a spoon and giggle the whole time if my baby told me to.”
It Was Too Good To Be True…
“When my daughter was 4 or 5, she was wearing a Pisces shirt with the 2 fish on it kissing. I scooped her up fork-lift style and she started flopping around like a fish out of water. Her nickname Audrey-fish was born.
Fast-forward 11 years and she started dating a kid who was in her inner circle of friends. He was no looker, but he had a strong moral compass, was active in the school, sports, and scouts. He joined the cheer team for her. They became more and more serious, continuing to date while attending different colleges (2-hour drive). It was beginning to look like they might eventually marry. Then he broke it off.
His last name . . . Fish.”
He Is Just Clearly Perfect For Her!
“My oldest daughter met a boy who was terrible for her. Controlling, manipulative, and just mean. I spoke to her about it, I ‘banned’ her from him, and in the end, I told her ‘you are going to be heartbroken, and I am going to let it happen.’
Sure enough, months later, he cheated on her and broke her heart. As I consoled her while she sat on the floor sobbing, she said: ‘You’re right, I’m never dating again.’
Fast forward two years later. She’s met a man online while gaming. He’s 5 years older than her, I didn’t readily approve (she was only 19). After I met him, it was clear he was perfect for her. He loved her completely, insecurities and all. He made a plan for them (his 5 Year Plan). No kids until he was married and bought a home. Buying a home 3 years after marriage. No home until all his debt is paid off. And no marriage until they dated for at least 2 years.
My daughter was head-over-heels for this guy, and sure enough, on her 21st birthday, he popped the question. They will be married this September.
He has paid off most of his debt, and they are planning a small, intimate (cheaper) wedding. He has homes lined up to look at and buy. My daughter knows what to expect in their life, and they work tirelessly together to make their life happen – together.
His qualities? He knows what he wants, in the order he wants it. He wants financial stability and isn’t swayed by emotional over-reactions (some) females can get when given the choices of marriage, children, and homes. He is frugal but generous with her. He spoils her with jewelry for every milestone (a Pandora charm bracelet).
I absolutely can’t wait to see her marry someone who gives her the world.”