Most of the time, the signs are all there, we just choose to ignore them. But then it comes down to your own happiness, and if your SO is putting your happiness in danger, it's probably for the best to get out of that relationship...
Crazy Girl’s Lies Went Way Too Far
“She cheated on me, then told me it was the other guy’s fault. When I said she needs to call the cops or something to get this sorted out she insists she can’t do that.
Eventually, she told me she just cheated on me and didn’t want to tell me. This could have ruined her life or his if I had called the cops on a false claim.
I didn’t learn and got back with her. Eventually tried to break it off. She claimed she was then pregnant with my kid. Which was also a lie considering we hadn’t had sex in months (long distance).
After weeks of not talking she called me telling me she would kill herself if I didn’t talk to her again. I called the cops with her address telling them she was threatening on the phone with me.
She’s alive and I imagine doing the same stuff as always.”
This Guy Had More Mood Swings Than Most Women
“He was extremely emotional and put one hundred percent into whichever way he was feeling that day.
Some days he was soo cuddly and obsessed with me and wanted me around all the time, and other days he ignored me and called me clingy and said I never give him any space. If we had a small argument it turned into a huge blow up with him literally shouting inches from my face.
It eventually got to the point where I couldn’t handle his mood swings. When he was affectionate it was amazing, but that other side of him scared me and I just couldn’t do it. I feel like he needed professional help, but I was young and didn’t know what to do.”
Her Friends And Her Are Definitely Social Media Addicts
“Most definite borderline disorder, with bipolar and narcissistic disorder thrown in.
She never cleaned a thing, the only job she ever had in her life was at McDonald’s for about 2 weeks when she’d been living with me for over a year. She was constantly talking to dudes on Facebook and Myspace and such. Pathological liar. I had to change the locks on her twice after dumping her. Told a bunch of previous ex’s family and friends and my friends on social media after we broke up that I talked the previous ex into ending her life (died of a drug overdose in my bathroom) which I found out when a detective called me investigating it.
Claimed she got with the stage manager from the ‘band’ Combichrist at a concert and got pregnant and that he was moving her to Germany and paying for her entire life, and a good friend of mine ran into her working at a gas station in the tiny little town she’s from.
Also went from 95lbs when I met her to 150lbs when I dumped her at 4’11”.
When I kicked her out because she claimed she was out with her sister while I was at work, but when she came home later, ‘her sister’ would drop her off at the end of the street and have her walk the rest of the way. I know her sister and have met her multiple times, and had no beef with her. When I called her out, she said that her sister’s boyfriend said if he saw me he was going to beat my butt and that’s why she didn’t just pull up like normal. For what, I have no idea. Of course, she immediately had a place to stay when I kicked her out and she kept threatening me with cops saying that she was going to get me arrested for stealing her property if I didn’t let her come and get her stuff while I was not home at work. That was obviously made up, and I said she wasn’t coming over for anything without the police present, which she, of course, didn’t follow up on. I ended up bringing her her stuff at the dude’s place she was staying at and I’m 100% sure she was with him prior to that anyways.
Later on, she called me at like 1 am on her birthday, a few days before Christmas, saying that the dude she was staying with kicked her out with none of her stuff and no shoes and I was the only person she knew to call in the middle of winter in Alaska. I told her to walk herself down to the gas station and call the cops and hung up. She also has a group of internet trolls that have been following me around places online for the last near 10 years calling me a murderer to anybody that I’m talking to.”
This Girl And Her Crying Antics Sound A Bit Psychotic…
“She went from 0 to 10 in an argument immediately. Any little thing was met with yelling and tears.
She was also a huge liar. The thing that finally broke us up was her telling me she had ender her pregnancy weeks earlier…when she never told me she was pregnant.
So either she did this without telling me, which makes her a terrible person, or she’s lying just to hurt me, which makes her terrible and also kind of crazy. I didn’t need any of that.”
He Literally Believed That SHE Was Possessed? Okay…
“He tried to tell me how to dress, how to wear my hair, who to see, what to study, what to read, etc. Tried to alienate me from my parents. Got angry when I didn’t immediately bail him out of his credit card problems with the cash I had saved for college. Didn’t approve of how I spent my money. Hit me. Attacked me. Refused to take me home one night after we had a fight and left me to walk 10 miles on a dangerous country road (I called my parents and they came and got me).
He claimed he could read minds because he took a few intro level psych classes. He once claimed someone tried to stab him but the blade didn’t go through because of divine intervention.
He would hold me down and tell me I was out of control when we had a disagreement and wouldn’t let me up until I ‘calmed down.’
He told me we had relationship issues because I was possessed so he took me to his mother who said there was a literal demon in our relationship that she could see.
Yeah, he was CRAZY!!!”
When Finding Out She Cheated Once…Turns Into A Horrible Discovery
“She was absolutely amazing. I loved her more than anything (high school sweethearts), we had a lot of fun and legit connected more than I had with anyone else up to that point.
However, people who cheat constantly throughout the entire relationship don’t generally let their SO know about it. When I found out and called her on it (still thinking it was just one time, one of her friends clued me in), I was awestruck when she mentioned a completely different guy than the one I knew about.
A few hours of conversation (let’s be real, mostly me crying, hating life, and just needing to know it all) later, I’d heard about at least 8 different guys over a course of two years (a couple of them at the same time) and was, well, just lost. I didn’t even know the person I loved (or if that was even who she was).
It took a long, long time to trust women again. I don’t think I dated anyone after that for 5 years or so. I’d tried, but I would get so anxious and overwhelmed with this feeling of betrayal, seemingly at random, that I decided I wasn’t going to inflict my insecurities at the time onto others.”
The Chicken Nugget Stalker
Ex was crazy for the spicy chicken nuggets. Raved about them to me. I don’t know why I was still talking to him, we had already broken up.
He asked if he could see me. I said no, I’m working. Pretty much like always. I don’t really want to see you anyways, because I have no desire for someone to be making sad eyes at me for hours on end. And, no, you can’t come hang out at the store. This is my job dude.
But he was insistent. You see, it wasn’t to see me that he was making the trip down, it was to hang out with a girl he wanted to impress. But he would honestly just love to bring me by some food on his way through, I just had to try these spicy nuggets. I said fine, okay, but you know I’m hypoglycemic, we were together for two years so you should know at least, but let me reiterate this: I am on a schedule to eat. And therefore I must eat during that time.
So I get to work and everything is hunky dory. The store is pretty dead that night, so I’m all over it, restocking and reorganizing the store. Ex texts me that he’s on his way to my city, about 45 minutes out, and I’m like cool, I hope these nuggets are edible (I have a thing where I can barely manage to choke down spongy, mechanically separated meat).
And I wait.
and wait some more.
Once he said he was on his way, but that was like an hour ago into a three-hour wait. I text him several times, no response. It started getting late. My blood sugar, predictably, crashed. At this point I’m nearly foaming at the mouth, I could have avoided being set up to be disappointed by him again.
So what happened? I actually didn’t know for a few days since he never responded to me. But this is what he told my best friend (who told me, just like he knew she would, I guess… to elicit sympathy? He waited for a few days after to text me like nothing was wrong so he knows she said something).
Apparently, he got the nuggets for me. He was on his way to my work. When he got there, he was so overcome with grief at seeing me that he parked in the darkened Sonic parking lot and cried. But more importantly- he did it while in view of the glass windows of my job and HE WATCHED ME WORK. Dude drove two hours under the pretense of bringing me food, left me hungry and crashed my blood sugar, watched me work without my consent or knowledge, and then at some point drove off.
We all bet he ate the nuggets as he cried.
“For Anyone In This Kind Of Situation, My Only Advice Is To GET OUT!”
“I dated, married, and divorced a complete narcissist. Things were great when we started dating, made me feel super special, we had a great time around each other, got me gifts, took me places, showed me off, etc. When we got married and responsibilities kicked in, I noticed I was the one always giving and giving and he was the one ‘taking’ in the relationship.
He thought so highly of himself that anyone who disagreed with him or challenged him was wrong and ‘a freaking idiot.’ Had a sense of entitlement for everything he wanted, to the point of putting us in financial strain because he couldn’t deny himself. Constant put-downs, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, complete lack of empathy, etc. Everything was a pissing contest and he had to one-up friends and neighbors all the time. Didn’t help with anything around the house because he focused on his own hobbies, but wanted excessive praise for doing something like mowing the lawn every once in a while. Called me ungrateful and unappreciative. After I had our first child, would tell me how ugly I was for gaining baby weight and that he didn’t want me unless I lost it (I’m not overweight by any means, 5’5, 140 lbs, size 6). Turned every argument around on me.
There is no reasoning or logic with a narcissist. It’s a ‘my way or the highway’ mentality. Threatened to divorce me for every little argument, threatened to kill me if I ever cheated on him or told my family about how he was treating me, etc. I was young and naive, thinking he’d change and was trying to keep our family together so I bent over backwards for him. Found out he had many affairs over the few years we were married. He told the other girls we were on a break and how bad I was to him to gain sympathy from coworkers and basically sleep with them. Our good times were good, our bad times were terrible. The worst part is this was all behind closed doors and I was terrified to say anything for fear of what’s he’d do to me, and I stood up for him all the time, partly because I can’t stand when people constantly bad-mouth their significant other and then continue to stay with the same person.
People called us the perfect couple…
Those who were close to me were so happy for me after we divorced while others had no clue why we, a perfect couple, couldn’t make it work.
After his last affair that I had full-blown proof of to show the courts and our families and basically could tell people the way he was treating me without people thinking I was crazy, I filed for divorce. At that point, I also wasn’t afraid of him anymore and figured anything was better than being in this relationship, even if he tried to come after me. It was a hell of a divorce and he’s still awful to deal with when I have to deal with him as he does see the kids every now and then. He still thinks he’s single-handedly responsible for anything good in my life and acts as if I owe my existence to him. Every now and then I still get concerned he’ll fly off the handle and try to hurt me, but he usually bounces around from gf to gf so quickly that they keep him occupied and keep his focus off me. I’m so much better off now and thriving in my career and overall personal life. I’m still young and have my whole life ahead of me. Through counseling and supportive family/close friends, I’ve worked through a lot of issues. Getting to the point where this guy is just a book on the shelf to me. Otherwise, it still irks me sometimes that my ex continues to put on the persona of being such a great guy and obviously blames everything on me. But I’ve learned to brush it off; the truth comes out eventually and I’m so thankful I was able to escape that nightmare of a relationship when I did.
For anyone in this kind of situation, my only advice is to GET OUT! There is no hope a narcissist will change. Maybe in a life or death situation, but it’s still not likely.”
Aggressively Possessive Of This Poor Girl
“My ex-man had this thing where he’d passive-aggressively leave and if I didn’t chase him like an idiot. I didn’t love him…
Purposely put me in situations with other people who I respected or was responsible to where I’d need to let them down or directly go against their wishes to avoid him acting like the above. Had no sympathy for the dings that caused to my reputation.
Any argument or disagreement was escalated to ‘Well, we should just break up.’ So I didn’t push back because any argument was immediately a visit to ‘divorce court.’
While I was in school, he would demand I was on Skype with him for hours a day…how I managed to do my work I do not know…
Also while we were living apart he had me agree to a vague ‘open’ relationship. The terms I thought I was agreeing to: ‘If one of us finds them self-drawn to another person to the point that they want to pursue it seriously, then go for it, but you have to tell the other person and end the (our) relationship.’
What he did: Got with every girl available (he liked girls that needed ‘fixing’) and tried to put me in situations where he’d hint to other guys/girls that I was free to be with them (I’m thinking he was trying to push his weird dream onto me without bothering to see if I was into it…I’m not)…
At the end, when I finally grew a spine and left, he proposed to me to try and ‘fix everything.'”
If You Want Your SO To Help You, Then Don’t Reject Them When They Actually Try To…
“My ex-girlfriend, suffered from mental illness (depression/anxiety) and our relationship slowly devolved into absolute insanity over the course of a year and a half. I tried my best to help her, but it was never enough. She had just gotten a doctorate, and despite her field having over a 90% employment rate, she refused to get a job because she ‘couldn’t handle it.’ I was expected to support us both with a salary of about $30k. She also smoked a lot and I was expected to pay for it. I smoked too, but not nearly as much… you know, having a full-time job and everything. I typically spent at least $150 a week on it, and if I couldn’t afford it or couldn’t get it for whatever reason, she would flip out. Screaming at me that I was worthless, that I obviously didn’t love her because I wasn’t trying hard enough, etc.
It got to the point where we were fighting multiple times a week. It was always either something trivial or her blaming me for not caring enough, not comforting her, or not providing in her time of need. It usually involved a lot of screaming and lasted for hours. Towards the end, her fits were also accompanied by self-harm, such as banging her head against the wall or punching herself. Sometimes we stayed up until 2, 3, or 4 AM fighting when I had to work at 9 the next morning. I would feel sleep deprived and ask her to please allow me to get some sleep because I was completely exhausted. To her, this was just another sign that I didn’t care about her. Cue more screaming rage.
I’ll never forget the weekend it ended. She asked me to pick up some food from a specific restaurant on my way home from work, so I did. It took awhile because I had to drive far and traffic was bad. She had been asleep but woke up when I got home. I showed her the food and her response was ‘SCREW off… you took too long and I don’t want it anymore.’
I finally lost it. I chewed her out and told her this was ridiculous… I was bending over backwards, to please her and it was never good enough. I explained how much she was hurting me and even though I wanted to help her, she was making it impossible. After venting my frustration though, she proceeded to have the worst breakdown I had ever seen. It lasted late into the night. The next day happened to be Mother’s Day and she told me if I went to see my mom, our relationship was over… so I left. I came back a few hours later to find her with her enabling mother packing her things up.
I don’t know why I stayed in this relationship so long. It was absolute torture and I should have ended it after a few months. I understand how debilitating mental illness can be, but it’s no excuse for treating someone like garbage when they’re trying to help you.”
‘He Would Have Me Followed…’
“Oh man. My worst relationship was with a guy a year older than me. Very emotionally abusive. He was a complete control freak. He had me followed by one of his friends whenever I was in school. He would report back with people I had been talking to and anything he had overheard. And then I would get questioned.
He would smoke a lot and it would make him very paranoid. He constantly accused me of cheating. He would attempt to distance me from my family and friends. He would try to force me to do things with him when I didn’t feel ready. Then he cheated on me with my best friend so good riddance to bad rubbish.”
‘If Were Not Married By The 1.5 Year Mark, It’s Over’
“She was 20 and I was 25, and we were dating for about a month.
She refused to pay taxes, get a bank account, get a drivers license, or get health insurance (her plan was to just not ever do any of these things so the government ‘couldn’t find her’). She also had a strict timetable of how relationships were supposed to progress (unbeknownst to me).
So after a month and a half, she told me she was breaking up with me, because I hadn’t told her that I loved her yet, and within 3 months of dating we were supposed to be moving in together, to be married at the 1.5 years mark.
NOPE NOPE NOPE!”
If Someone Is Dumping Their Personal Problems On You, You Should Consider Dumping Them…
“I had so many red flags I should have paid attention to on our first date but I was blinded by the fact that he was cute and not a total dweeb. Found out later that my friend set us up as a joke and didn’t expect anything out of it.
1. Constantly would talk about how he wasn’t made for suburban life and needed to live in NYC to live his dream, about becoming an actor while never actually doing anything about it.
2. All of his friends lived like an hour and a half away so if I wouldn’t be able to hang out with him, he would throw a fit and guilt trip me about spending time away from him.
3. Everything was always about him; Where we wanted to go, what we were going to watch on tv, always talking about him.
4. He would make passive aggressive comments about my weight and take out his frustrations on me whenever he gained weight.
5. Got in my face a couple times and yelled at me. I 100% believe he would have gotten physically abusive if I had stayed. Confirmed by the fact that when I broke up with him, he said he didn’t think I was strong enough to ever leave.
6. Tell me he was going to hurt himself because he couldn’t handle the stress of living in the suburbs.
7. Refused to get therapy because he went once and didn’t magically work.
HE WAS AWFUL!”
He Thought It Was ‘Funny’ To Be Abusive
“He thought it was hilarious to imply in public that he was abusive and watch no one come to my aid. He would grab me by the arm, shake me, lean in close like he was threatening me, then laugh when no one tried to stop him.
He told me that as a woman, I would never have any authority in the relationship and that I would be allowed to make inconsequential choices only.
When I no longer wanted to be in a relationship, he asked how much it would cost to just buy me.
He forced himself on me and said he hoped I got pregnant, then he would have me forever.
There was a lot more. If you’re wondering why I stayed, he had a habit of finding out when I just ended a relationship, and when I was at my lowest, he would swoop in and tell me how much he loved me. I had issues with my own self-worth and genuinely thought that is what I deserved.
Thankfully I no longer feel that way!”
She Just Wanted The Status Of Having Boyfriend…
“She was more interested in having the status of being in a relationship, than in actually being in a relationship.
Her previous boyfriend had been in the closet and she had knowingly been his beard so he could stay in the closet and she could have the ‘I have a boyfriend!’ status. After he came out she obviously couldn’t keep that status.
Enter me. She knew exactly what to say to get a guy interested, but was wholly uninterested in actually doing anything together. We went on one date in six months – after that, she started saying that she needed at least two weeks notice before a date but that she needed to be able to cancel up to 3 hours ahead of time because sometimes her dad made plans and didn’t tell her. When I pointed out that made it impossible to have a date planned if she could cancel anytime, she didn’t care.
She knew that telling me she was horny would get me to stay, but whenever her parents weren’t home she had to ‘wash her hair’ (literally, I know it’s a trope but that’s the excuse she used) or that her parents were surprise-leaving-work at 10 AM, or whatever. We kissed three times in six months, but she would frequently tell me over the phone how much she wanted to have sex.
One memorable time I showed up to a party, and she made a shocked reaction of ‘what are you doing here!?’ When I pointed out that the party was hosted by my best friend, I lived down the street, and I had invited her to come and she’d turned me down, she got really upset that I had come anyway without telling her.
When I eventually wised up and dumped her, she went around telling half her friends that I had tried to assault her, and the other half that I had proposed to her but called it off (We were 16 at the time). Apparently, mutual friends took sides without letting me know, until her web of lies unraveled after people talked to each other without her present.
In college, she tried to invent a rich, muscular, genius boyfriend that doted on her. That’s how she discovered that reverse image search was a thing and showed us pictures out of car ads from the 80s wasn’t a convincing way of proving you had a boyfriend. She’s still single and living with her parents in her 30s.
That relationship taught me that when people tell you what they want, it’s not always what they actually want.”
Giving SO The Silent Treatment
“I’ve only ever been in one relationship, but I surely don’t need a few more to confirm that he was nothing short of the absolute jerk head that everyone tried to warn me about before we started dating.
He tried to make me feel bad for not buying him tacos at his big basketball game (even though he said like 3 sentences to me all day, even during the half-hour breaks he was given). One time, he got mad at me for two weeks because it was ‘that time of the month.’ Then he made up fake excuses about how I was ‘clingy’ and that I had ‘no life’ when I tried to ask him what was wrong.
Suddenly, he ignored me for WEEKS without telling me anything, even though he knows that I am anxious as ever and will go freaking crazy when ignored. He was emotionally manipulative, as unaware as he was, and made me feel horrible for things that I would have overlooked because I chose to not be the idiot that made mountains out of molehills.
The day when he will leave to another continent cannot come fast enough.”