You always hear about the Teen Moms out there, but you never get to hear the Teen Dads and their perspective on the whole idea of having a child, so young. But these dads really stepped up to the plate and did the best they could, to provide a life for their family.
At 16, He Ended Up Getting Full Custody
“I was almost 16, and she had just turned 18. We had been together 7 months and she was on birth control, but it didn’t work too well.
When she told me, it was in her car after coming from a football game.
She said she had told her parents already and that she absolutely couldn’t end her pregnancy so I respected that and told my parents I was having a baby. They blew bricks as their 15-year-old kid said he was having his own kid.
By my own decision, I started taking online high school classes instead of traditional schooling. I graduated almost 2 years early and got a job doing private security.
Got dumped right before my daughter was born and the night of her birth my ex’s new boyfriend was there trying to sign the birth certificate (he was 22) and I ended up going to court for full custody of my daughter afterwards because my ex was crazy, and I knew she wouldn’t be a suitable mother.
3 years later and now it’s just me and my princess with grandparent visits every other weekend and the occasional mom visit at my apartment.
I like to think I’ve done well so far, given the fact that I make enough to take care of both of us, go out for fun all the time and I have a savings account for her with college/emergency money. It hasn’t been fun the whole time, but it’s definitely rewarding.”
Probably The Most Chill And Oblivious Reaction
“I was 18. She told me and started crying. I asked if I could finish her food since she wasn’t hungry anymore.
We then enrolled in college and I’ll be graduating in about a year with a degree that has good employment after college. She will graduate in about 2 years. It’s all working out really well.
At first, I got kind of worried.
But I kept telling myself that ‘Success is determined by the obstacles you overcome to get to where you are.’ Or something like that.”
That Is Some Surprising News To Get At A Concert
“I found out my girl was pregnant while at an AWOLNATION concert.
I had my closest friend come pick me up and I told him first. I felt like reality had snapped. I told my parents 2 days later. They were highly supportive.
I’ve stuck around and been in the baby’s life as much as possible. Her mother and I split up about 4 months ago. I soon after finding out I got a job, enrolled in part-time college and cleaned up my act.
I’m a proud dad of an almost 6-month-old baby girl.”
“Teen Pregnancy Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me”
“Well, I was 18 and my girlfriend at the time was 16.
I also lived about 200 miles from her, was midway through my first year of a not very well respected degree at a not very well respected university, lived with my parents (she lived with hers), and worked a crappy minimum wage job for a terrible employer (PC World in the UK).
It was, at first, life- shattering. I had no money, spent every spare bit of cash I had on train tickets to see her (and my child) every weekend up until she was about 1. We were beyond poor, and she relied on the government to house them after the birth. Without the support of the state, we would have been in an impossible situation, which is why you should never judge a family based on their current means or use of welfare.
Anyway, at about 1 year of age (at the end of my second year of university) a Flash game I made came second in what was, at the time, the biggest online competition for them (The Armor Games contest). Dan, the CEO of Armor Games, offered me a full-time job working from home for a great salary doing what I loved (and would have likely done for free) making Flash games for Armor Games full time.
He saved our bacon for sure. I spent the next 6 years there and it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Last year I started working for another company (Armor were going to have to change my contract to a less stable one due to the economy and other circumstances). I’ve not enjoyed it very much, but as of fairly recently, I’ve begun talks with Armor again to bring back one of my old game franchises in a big way.
Without my girlfriend (now wife, of 5 years) getting pregnant, I would not have had the drive to make everything work. Teen pregnancy is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m extremely lucky.
This week, my beautiful 8-year-old daughter and I installed mods on her edition of Minecraft for the first time, to which she is highly addicted. She’s a great kid, and I wouldn’t change the way things panned out for the world.”
Sometimes You Need Separation In Order To Mature
“I was 19. It was devastating. I didn’t know what to expect, and I was scared. I was leaving for college just months later and I had a choice to make. I went, she didn’t.
It was tough, but we managed. We visited each other. It sucked not being around my daughter. Two years later, after being separated, we got married.
Now we are a happy family and the rough times showed us what is important. Just remember the most important thing: your child. You need to be there for them, no matter what. Everything else comes second. If that means working at night to support the child, you do it. Things get better, but it takes time.
Do I wish we could have waited? Sure. But being a daddy to my little girl is the best thing that ever happened to me. It only continues to get better. (We have another now, too, and it still rocks).”
At Least He Already Planned On Marrying Her
“My girlfriend and I were 17 years old when she got pregnant. We had been dating for about a year and a half. I already had teenage visions of marrying her long before the pregnancy. I never really proposed to her. Something she and I both regret to today.
After we found out by a drugstore pregnancy test, I said something like ‘I guess we should get married’ and she nodded. Gents if you’re ever in the same boat, propose properly. This means the world to a woman as she gets older. But I digress.
Telling our parents wasn’t so hard. Her parents found a book on pregnancy in her room and added up the score. My mother basically said, ‘Oh dear’ and seemed shocked, but there was no yelling as I declared we were moving out together when we turned 18 in a few months. We found an apartment.
Life was very, very poor. But we made it. Thank god we live in Canada (not a knock to our southern friends) but the government paid her for 1 year to stay home when a basic job would have been hard to do with our situation.
Fast forward today. Our oldest daughter turns 15 in a month. We have a second 10-year-old and, yes our 15th wedding anniversary is next week. We have a house, 2 cars, a dog. The normal life. We made it. I think we were lucky.”
The Fairytale Family Ended Because Because Her Mother Pushed Her Away From Him…Forever
“I got my girlfriend pregnant when we were both 17 (2 months shy of 18). I asked her to end the pregnancy, she said she couldn’t without her mother’s permission, found out later that wasn’t the case…she just wanted a kid! Her mother was all for ending the pregnancy!
When I went to the first ultrasound and I saw what we created, that’s when I decided that I love this thing and that I wanted to be a dad. Next ultrasound I found out I was having a boy, this made me even more excited! We had an agreement if it’s a boy I get to name him. If it’s a girl she gets to.
Fast forward; We’re prepping for our baby, mom looks great she has the pregnancy glow. I get tripped out touching her belly and feeling my son. The name I wanted was Liam, but his mom doesn’t like it. So while were at the theater watching Terminator Salvation the name comes to me. John Connor, so how about just Connor? I say to his mom in the theater, we both fall in love with the name.
Fast forward; my son is born 5 weeks premature, in the NICU for a month, we visit him every day. Most surreal thing watching a childbirth, it was amazing and scary, his mom is a champion, doing it all natural and walking the next day.
6 months go by and I’m loving my family.
This is when our fairytale ends; The mother keeps trying to talk to her ex-boyfriend she had before me which I can tell she still had feelings for.
I get possessive and start to get worried and start checking her emails, contacts on phone (she would change his name to ‘Ashley’ or something) we start fighting about it. I get more possessive and worried and start calling her names (I regret this everyday). So she kicks me out. Within 2 weeks shes dating that ex again. I’m still hurt about this 4 years later but I feel its my fault in the first place. I should never have worried I pushed her to him I made him look good without him even trying.
Shes dated several guys since then, even got engaged once but he turned out to be a jerk like me. Guy shes with now I get along with really well, I like him, he’s a good guy. I’ve dated and seen more people than her 4 years since we broke up. I still miss the heck out of her though, wish we could be family. But I understand what I did is unforgettable.
Mother and I get along really well now and my beautiful boy is my idol. I take him every weekend at least once a week, 3/4 times I take him two days. I pay child support, shes cool with whatever I give her, she knows I give what I can. My son looks almost identical to me, I get so many comments about how people just know I’m his dad, and that always makes me feel like I won in the end. I may not have my family anymore but at least I got a better version of me.
But if I could I still would’ve waited a few more years then having a kid at 18. It was too stressful at that age, you don’t take in a lot of factors. I wish I could move to another city, I can’t because his mom lives here with him. I wish I could travel, I can’t because money is tight since I have to pay child support and things for my boy. I wish I could spend the weekends with my friends without having the book in advance with his mother.
I have no doubt I had my boy with the right woman but just at the wrong time. If it was now I would treat her so well I don’t act like that anymore in anyway shape or form. I wouldn’t give a care if she talks to her ex. I would appreciate her for the great mom/woman she is.”
“My Mom..Cried, She Denied it”
“I was 16; we had seen it coming but neither of us really accepted it. I was scared terribly and felt as though my life had been dissolved. She told her mom about it, took a test and it came out positive. Her parents weren’t upset and they willingly supported us. It took me about 3 months to tell my mom and she reacted just how I imagined: she cried, she denied it, she broke down in front of me and it made me feel awful.
My girlfriend and I stopped seeing each other as often.
We talked about marriage and I’ve recalled of two different attempted engagements which only made her family hate me more. I slipped deeper into my depression that had been affecting me for a few years and it was rough. I often thought about leaving but I could never find it in me. I eventually got over my fear and started taking responsibility by making plans for the future which also helped me truly accept the situation I was in.
Seeing my beautiful baby girl for the first time changed everything. The emotions were indescribable, and that was absolutely the happiest day of my life. Since then my relationship with my girlfriend has greatly improved, I’ve begun dealing with my depression and doing a better job with it. My daughter is now just older than a month and I am proud to call myself a father.”
Moving Away With Her Makes You Learn How To Live On Your Own Quickly
“She was 18 and I was 17. We were dating for a year before. It was maybe a few months before graduation. I remember we told my mom at a drive-through Chinese restaurant.
I dealt with it pretty good I guess. There was a bit (bit might be an understatement but it was a bit for me) of family drama from my parents and her parents. We ended up moving out of state for a while. Got a few boring jobs but enough to afford rent/car/food/bills all that good stuff. We learned extremely fast how to handle being on our own.
We’ve been married for 8 years now and have had 2 other kids.
If you get someone pregnant at a young age or in general at any age, man up and do your best for your child. Even if you and the mom decided to go separate roads – you will be the only biological father this child will ever have and you have to earn the title dad.
But getting back to the topic, I don’t think I would have been able to handle the situation without my wife there. She kept me thinking right and stay on the right track. I didn’t want to end up like other teen fathers or parents.”
Sometimes, Mom And Dad Won’t React Like You Think They Would
“I was 17, and my girlfriend was a couple of years older at the time.
Her period was late and we both sort of suspected it but we both kept telling each other not to be silly. We finally came to our senses and she took a test. Came back positive, but we were both in denial, and bought literally 20-30 more tests in the next few days, all coming back positive. Obviously, we were both pretty freaking worried and didn’t have a clue what to do, so we made a doctors appointment behind our parents backs to get something done about it, scared of what our parents would say, knowing they would surely flip out.
We woke up on the morning and decided this definitely wasn’t the right thing to do, and she decided to tell her Mum, by text. The reaction was nowhere nearly as bad as we thought it would be. She came and picked my girlfriend up and they went home. Got a text half an hour later to come up and I went and we spoke. Decided we both want to have this child. I was absolutely freaking out at the thought of telling my Mum, but it had to be done.
Couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I sent her a text and that was it. Same as SO’s parents, mine’s were nowhere nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
Fast forward a while and she’s just turned 7 months pregnant yesterday, due in August. Both still together and happier than ever! I’ve got a job and a place at college now, and the futures looking bright!”
He Handled That Extremely Well And Became Successful
“I didn’t really panic, I’m good at handling my cool. Admittedly there’s no possible way to handle how hard it is to have a baby, but I was in it for the long haul.
I felt like we were destined to be together for life and was ready for it. I handled the news pretty well with a bit of shock, ‘Well, guess I better enjoy the next 7 months to the best of my ability then.’
Fast forward to today and our kid is 7 1/2 months old. We are still together and live together and I’m working my way through college and work at the same time. I have had 5 different jobs since we found out…finally got a decent one as a network administrator and got my foot in the door for my career.
The hardest part was when he was a newborn and kept us up all night. We had a few huge arguments during that time period that almost ended in her leaving and going back 1200 miles away to New York. But now we’re doing better and better every day and we love our son very much. We are blessed to have him in our lives.”
Not All Teen Dads Stay Jerks Forever
“I was just 14 when my girlfriend got pregnant. To be honest I was a jerk. I couldn’t handle it.
I asked her to end the pregnancy. She refused. I hung around, barely… she was basically own her own.
Our daughter was born 9 days after my 15th birthday. 4 years later we moved in together and married shortly after.
Happily married still, 32 years now. 2 daughters and 5 grandkids.”
It Must Be Hard To Cope With All Of The Emotions That Come With Teen Pregnancy
“I’m currently 16, and my girlfriend and I found out that she is pregnant about 3 weeks ago. She’s decided that she wants to keep the child. We told her mom on the spot but waited a couple of days to tell my mom.
It was really, really stressful for the first couple of weeks, but I’m starting to get better now and accept it. I’m terrified of the future and how things are going to turn out, but I’m just trying to stay positive about everything and hope that everything will be okay.
It’s hard to put all of this into words, but I’m more just confused with what I’m going to do with my life now, and it’s been kinda hard to cope with everything because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. I guess I just need to hope that everything is going to be okay.”
Both Of Their Dads Had Almost The Same Reactions
“I was 17, she was 18. It was the summer of my junior year, she had just graduated. Anyway, once we realized after a late period and several tests we knew we had to tell our parents. We told hers first. Her Dad stormed off, we heard a few ‘aw, heck!’ And then he came back and gave her a hug and said we could all work through this. Later that night, I told my parents. My Dad stormed off and I heard a bunch of ‘Aw, DANG!’ And things being broken, then he came back and gave me a hug and said we could all work through this. Funny how the two dads had very similar reactions.
Anyway, we waited until two months after the kid came to get married just to make sure it was what we really wanted to do. I managed to graduate early so when our daughter came, I was already out of school. Originally, I had intentions of going to USMA for college and then a career in the Army. With this happening, it threw a wrench in that plan so I secured a full scholarship to The University of TN at Knoxville through AFROTC so I could commute from home and attend college. My wife worked a series of low-paying jobs for the next five years to keep food on the table while I finished my degree in electrical engineering.
Upon graduating, I was sent to Randolph AFB as a second lieutenant and eventually received my Aeronautical Rating as a Combat Systems Officer.
Our daughter is now 12, our younger daughter is now 6 and, currently, my wife and I are enjoying some champagne on this fine Mother’s Day morning.
It was a LOT of hard work and took a lot of perseverance on both of our parts. Having a kid while you are still a kid yourself, and going to college and living on your own for the first time is extremely stressful, and there were many a time I did not think we would make it through those first years as a couple. You have to really assess what you want from life, what is the right thing to do and how to make the two coincide with each other. It was not an easy endeavor but my wife is truly my best friend, my kids are pretty awesome and I can’t picture my life any different than it is currently.”
He Really Manned Up About The Situation
“I was 19 when I found out my baby momma was pregnant, honestly, I knew I was going to have to step up and be a better person.
I was actually more scared of her family finding out because they are the type who love collecting guns and I was sure I was going to be loaded with buckshot by the end of the day for sure. Instead, she told her parents without me knowing so I wouldn’t go hide somewhere, but her parents actually were pretty chill about besides saying she was finishing her education before we moved.
Now my kid is 3, still with the same woman, and baby number 2 is due in June.”
He Sounded A Bit Too Confident On The Phone
“In my senior year of high school (around November), I started dating a girl who worked at my part time job with me.
In April, the day I was preparing to leave for my senior trip, she called me on the phone to tell me she was pregnant. Here we were, two 18-year-old kids, both preparing for college and we were hit with this. Now, I’ll readily admit we were both careless about protection and this was a nightmare that we brought upon ourselves.
I remember the dead silence on the phone for about 30 seconds when she told me. I felt like a part of me died on the inside. I was numb. She asked me, ‘Are you still there? Say something!’ I, truthfully, panicked and blurted out, ‘Well, OK then. I guess we’re in this together. We’ll handle this one way or the other!’ In hindsight, I realize I sounded like a loon and far more confident than I should have been.
I left on my senior trip about an hour after that phone call and it was the worst trip of my life. I spent the entirety of it with my headphones on, staying in the hotel as much as possible, and talking to no one. I cried when no one was looking. I cried a lot. I was scared as hell and I didn’t know what to do. How would I tell my parents? I’ve never even handled a baby! I’m not equipped to deal with this. My girlfriend is smart and beautiful, but how much can you know about a person in 5 months? I was going away to college. I know what to do. I can come back on weekends and spend time with my child! I can do both! Wait….what am I crazy? This is life ruining. I need to convince her to end the pregnancy. Yeah, that’s it! Wait…no. What kind of scumbag am I?
That was my stream of consciousness for about a week straight.
In the end, I determined to myself that I was possessive person. I was a good person who would will myself to be the best parent I could be regardless of the circumstances. I would scratch, bite, claw, and sacrifice to be everything and everyone to that child….and my girlfriend, if she still wanted me. I would be better because the circumstances demanded it and these circumstances didn’t determine the entire arc of my life.
We had a baby girl. She’s the light of my world. My girlfriend became my wife. We had another he’s girl 5 years after that. We just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. If you look at us now, we look like the everyday, run of the mill middle class family. You would never know we were teen parents, but it took a long time to get there and a lot of hard work and sacrifice.”
Get A Good Job, Fast!
“I was 19. It counts.
Anyhow, despite wanting to drink heavily, I went into reserved panic mode. I latched onto one idea: get a good job and get it fast.
It sounds responsible, but let me clarify: finding the job became my life. I would get call backs for interviews and I would decline them for some made-up reason because I was convinced that something better would come along. The hunt for something spectacular became my drug.
Eventually, I was verbally slapped around, by too many parents and I took a good job while putting myself through school.”