It's truly amazing how creepy and bizarre men can be on a first date. The follow are 19 women's accounts of the weirdest and and creepiest men they've ever had the displeasure of dating.
Super Mario In Track Pants
“I met a guy from OKCupid. The first time we met up in a public place and just had a casual chat. It wasn’t a horrible date, but it wasn’t very memorable either. I decided to give him another try because it could have just been nerves. The 2nd date he invited me over to his place… I knew he lived with his parents, but i kind of assumed they’d be away.
They weren’t away. They kept coming into the lounge room and giving us iced tea and chips whilst he played XBox in his track pants (no shirt) and i sat there awkwardly watching. He didn’t really speak much to me. It was 11pm, and he was in his 30s.”
Burying The Lede
“I had just moved to London, and met this guy on a dating website, he was generally not my type. Still, I was fresh out of a long term damaging relationship and trying to meet new people yada, yada.
Fast forward to the date, and he takes a call from a girl and he says to her – ‘oh i’m just in the pub with (male roommates name)’ I can hear her on the other end getting worked up about something and him telling her to calm down. Alarm bells already ringing.
He hangs up the phone and says “That was my fiancee, but not a real one, just one i’m with for her visa” At this point I’m already thinking ‘bloody hell’. He continued on with his excuse “She also lives with me” (in his 2 bed apartment with this other roommate – cozy). “Oh yeah, I should probably tell you i’m getting married in three weeks”
At this exact point, I just said ‘well, I’m going home’ and start pulling on my coat.
His reply was even more classic, ‘Do you want to help me buy groceries first?'”
“The first time I ever used Tinder was also my worst experience with Tinder. The date itself was fine – a little stiff – but fine. Typical questions like what are you studying, where did you grow up, etc. We ate dinner and I didn’t plan on meeting up with him again.
The next day I got a text from him saying, “Hey.” I text him back “Hi”. He asks me what’s up, I say not a whole lot what’s up with you…
End up getting a HUGE paragraph back talking about his creative process for writing (and trying to direct) a specific type of porno where women crush rats and tarantulas between their breasts. WHAT THE F—“
Take A Hint!
“Maybe a bit more creepy than strange, but I haven’t been on many dates.
We met on tinder, hadn’t talked for too long but I thought, what the hell I need to get out more blah blah. The first thing he said was “Oh wow, you’re so pretty!” and tried to kiss me on the mouth. I sort of dodged and gave him a cheek and ignored it to avoid him getting embarrassed. He was not embarrassed.
Two drinks in, we’re talking a bit awkwardly, and he’s clearly buying me double G&Ts instead of the singles I’m asking for (I was a bartender at the time, I can taste the difference). When i’m mid sentence, he grabs my face and says “Sorry I just need to get this out of the way” and forcefully sticks his tongue down my throat. I didn’t really know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene and he’s about a foot taller than me.
I said I needed to look up the time for the last train, he said “No it’s fine you can stay at mine!” I said thanks, but I’ll look up the last train. He begs, saying he’ll sleep on the couch, he just wants to get to know me better. Still said no. He huffs, very briefly, and then cheers up and tells me he’ll look up the train time for me “like a gentleman”.
He says it’s at 1am. I said that’s late, is he sure? He gets all tense and says “What? Don’t you believe me!?” so I smiled and said of course I did and then a few minutes later I excused myself to the toilet and checked the times on my phone, which said the last train was actually at 12.15am. Lovely.
I went back to my seat, he asked if I wanted to wait at his flat for the last train (!?) and I said no, I’m getting an uber now, bye. He tried to beg me to stay, loudly and embarrassingly, so others could hear (hopefully I’d get so embarrassed I’d go home with him I guess?) and even pretended it was his birthday and yelled to the bar that he was protecting me by taking me home because “taxi drivers can be rapists”.
I told him quietly to f— off and that I was going home, and he loudly asked for a hug and tried to grab my boobs.”
Pizza Party, Family Style
“A guy I’d met a few times contacted me asked me on a date. I had never been asked on a date before and accepted despite thinking him a little strange and having heard some odd things about his family.
He picked me up and everything seemed good, we decided to grab a pizza and eat it in a park. When we went to purchase the pizza, it turned out he worked there and had all his co-workers come out to gawk at me. (This guy wasn’t very popular with the ladies and seemed to be proving he had a date). I’m bad in social situations and got super uncomfortable, but didn’t know how to bail and we went to the park.
It was very awkward and I wanted to go home by the end of it. We mostly just sat in awkward silence and tried not to hear each other chewing. I thought I was going home, but he decided he wanted to stop at his house. I agree because I honestly did not know how to disagree. (First dating experience). His home turned out to be with his parents. (We were both 18-20). This wouldn’t have been so bad had they not all ten of his siblings (I don’t remember exactly how many siblings he had) and his parents were home and wanted to meet me.
They weren’t just a big, nice family, they were very religious and looked like they belonged to a cult. They all had long hair, homemade clothing, they were home-schooled. The mom said hello, then the dad came in and nobody was allowed to say a word while he questioned me on what me and his son had done on our date and when the family would be seeing me again. It was terrifying. My date showed me his pet turtles, which were really cute, and finally drove me home.
He tried to kiss me after making it clear he thought we were in a relationship after one date. At this point I almost ran from the car. I messaged him later on explaining that I was only looking for friends at this point in time.”
Breakin’ The Law, Breakin’ The Law
“Got set up on a date with this pretty awkward guy, he picked me up in his car which was sort of cool considering we were in high school but oh my god he was a nervous driver. So nervous in fact that he accidentally ran a red light, lost his s— and ducked into a residential area to sit at the end of a cul-de-sac freaking out thinking the cops were coming. I tried to explain that if a cop had seen him we’d have already been pulled over but dude was too freaked out. I don’t even remember anything else about the date, just that. It was uneventful and I never really talked to him again because we had nothing in common.”
“Had a good friend in uni who disappeared overseas for a year after we graduated. I stayed there to study and teach, and one day I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying “hey, it’s Joe from business school, want to catch up for a coffee?” Hadn’t seen him in ages so I said yes very enthusiastically. I walked into the coffee shop at the right time, look around for Joe, and there’s Joe from business school. A different Joe from business school. I couldn’t walk out because he’d already seen me, so we chatted politely for an hour and we’ve never talked since.”
Dudes Are Dumb
“I was a waitress and I had a table of 2 guys. One was very cute and flirting with me and we exchanged numbers. He asked me out and I said yes. I didn’t really go out much and he didn’t tell me where we were going out what we were doing. Me being young and dumb at the time thought that would be exciting. So he drives me a pretty good way from my house and we go to an elementary school. I was really confused. Apparently he was a basketball coach and they had a game that night.
So at this point I notice I have no reception on my phone and I really wanted to leave but I thought maybe we were going somewhere fun afterward so I gave up trying to call someone to rescue me. I sat and watched this game right next to this dude’s mom. Yeah this was going well.
Finally the game ended and we go to get in the car and his friend from the restaurant gets in the front seat making me sit in the back. I am super uncomfortable with this and I ask what’s going on. They basically tell me they want to run a train on me. Nope. F that. Take me home now.”
“Internet date; at a bar; first time meeting the guy. He tells me over a bowl of eggplant chips that he’s so good in bed that the last woman he (had sex with) spontaneously lactated from the mind-blowing pleasure of it all.”
Self-Esteem? What Self-Esteem?
“Tinder matched with a guy who was half an hour late for the date. The first thing he said to me was “You’re too tall, you’re taller than me”. I’m 5’5″, was wearing flats – nowhere on his profile was his height listed, never mentioned anything about it. He said he’d buy me a drink for being late, so I figured I’d get a beer out of it.
We chatted for a bit about our jobs and school and whatever. I check the time, and realize I have to catch my bus back home – I lived in the suburbs with my parents at this point. He says “Okay, I’m coming with you.”
“Well, I guess you can come back to my place. My roommate is there though.”
“I’m not coming home with you, I made that clear long before we even met up.”
“I bought you a drink! You owe me!”
“What the hell? I owe you nothing.”
He puts on this super angry face and starts negging me.
“You’re not even that hot.”
“I am not going to sleep with you. I’m going home.”
He just stalks off in the opposite direction. I get a message on Tinder later.
“This isn’t going to work out.”
Uh. No s—. Lol.
Came across this dude on Bumble later. His profile pic was a pic of his abs; the secondary pic was him ‘sexting’ with a girl. “So you know I can make girls cum”.
Lmao. Good luck pal. Good luck.”
This Could Go Very Badly
“So I met this guy when I was in college in DC and he invited me go to on his motorcycle to his family’s farm in rural Virginia. I told my best friend and she was appalled; “He could be an ax murderer! You could come home in a dozen pickle jars!” I pooh-poohed her and went on the 2-hour ride out to the farm.
We get there and take a walk up the mountain behind the farm. He’s picking me wildflowers along the way, we’re having a grand time watching the wild turkeys. As we’re walking down, there’s a fence with a tree growing next to it and I decide to swing myself over the fence like Tarzan. Unfortunately, there was a huge rock at my landing spot and I took a nasty tumble, spraining my ankle pretty badly.
We limped back to the farmhouse (really a two-room cottage) and got my boot off and it was immediately obvious I wouldn’t be getting it back on. So much for riding home that afternoon. He said, “We’ll have to spend the night here and wait for the swelling to go down.”
I’m thinking, “Pickle jars…”
He rides to the local IGA to pick up some food (nothing in the house) and comes back with groceries and asks, “Guess what’s for dinner?”
“Chicken Kiev,” I answered. It was the most unlikely thing I could think of at the time.
His face fell. He had picked up the ingredients to make Chicken Kiev, thinking it would impress me.
We should have known right then and there. We’ve now been married 31 years and have two kids.”
Life Moves Pretty Fast
“Meet a guy online. He asks me to dinner at a tapas place, I agree because I’m bored and he seems nice enough; we’d been texting for a couple weeks and it seemed chill. I get there and he’s late to meet me. Looks nothing like his profile (about 100 lbs heavier, bad skin, and is just dressed really sloppily) but I told myself not to be shallow. We are looking over the menu (which was fantastic btw) and I suggest a few things I’d like to eat and he begins saying he doesn’t eat sweet potatoes, aioli, capers, salmon, radish, arugula, kale, balsamic vinegar, etc.–basically all ingredients except for bread, meat, and cheese–and that he won’t eat any food if that’s what I order. I tell him to get what he wants then and I’ll get something for myself. We get our food and he is the messiest eater I’ve seen in my life, getting crumbs and food bits all over his shirt and the whole table and it was just painful to watch. He also kept insisting I try his food, but I’m pescatarian and lactose intolerant so I declined, at which he began berating me and my food choices and being a “picky eater”. They clear our table for dessert and he then gets down on one knee and tries to give me a promise ring because he “felt a special bond with me and wanted to pledge his life to me” after having met online a few weeks before. Yeah, no thanks. Politely as I could, I declined, to which he started calling me expletives in the middle of the restaurant and then ugly crying and stormed out. So I had to pay for the terrible date HE asked ME on because I didn’t want to accept a pre-engagement ring”
Matched on Tinder with a guy who decided that a great story to tell in detail on our date was about the time he had sex with a lady and tore her up so bad inside that she was bleeding profusely and had to go to the hospital to get stitches. After he was done telling the story, he told me he was glad I told him I was super squeamish, because now he wouldn’t try to show me pictures of all the blood he had saved on his phone. He also said he had been on well over 100 Tinder dates, and I had managed to land in his top 10. I never talked to him again.
“I went on a date with a guy in my apartment block, only to see his disappointed face when my girlfriend called me on the way home. I realized he’d assumed I was gay and that I’d assumed he was just a friendly guy wanted to hang out.”
New In Town
“Met a girl online, decided that we should meet for a date. (I’m female BTW – this sort of matters). I arrived in a strange town that I didn’t know so I relied on her to show me around. She took me to a youth LGBT group, I thought we were staying, didn’t mind – it’s a bit odd but I was newly “out”.
Turns out it was just a chance for this girl to show off that she did, in fact, have a date (they didn’t believe her apparently) and I existed. It was really awkward. When the youth group leader came in, she stood up, grabbed my hand and said “later b—-es” and we walked out.
Went to a bar for a drink, and then on for some food. It wasn’t going well, she was very odd, but I was new to all this, and in a town I didn’t know. Once we’d eaten she said, “oh I just need to see a mate who’s staying at xyz hotel” – fine, went to see this friend. Oh no. She’d booked a hotel room for us for the night! Yeah – I left pretty quickly after that. I may have been inexperienced, but I wasn’t about to be tricked into a night in a rough hotel with an odd little lesbian. No thank you.”
Can’t Blame A Guy For Trying!
“Some back story, I had guy friend in high school who wanted to date me and I didn’t so I said no. He then told everyone I was a slut and did drugs and what do ya know, tons of guys turned out to have had sex with me (not really true). Anyway I somehow got a reputation for being a slut without actually doing anything.
So this guy who is a big nerd asks me out on a date and I said sure because he was cute and I kinda liked him. I had been to his house before so after we go to a decent dinner we go back to his place to watch TV. I should of known, but I just assumed this guy was really poor like me and couldn’t afford to do more. So we get there and none of his family is home, and as soon as we walk in he is leading me to his bedroom not even smiling, with a really solemn look on his face. I just kinda laughed and told him I don’t really have sex with everyone. I was expecting maybe he would act like that wasn’t his intent, or he would be mad, but he just straight up started crying. The rest of the night was spent talking about how s—ty high school is and how much pressure he felt to lose his virginity but didn’t even like me that much. He had a girl he actually liked but wanted to be “experienced”. Then we watched Mystery Science Theatre. He is still one my friends today. But it was definitely a weird date.”
“Went out with a customer from my work (I was a bartender, so I got hit on quite a bit, but this was the first time I’d actually gone out with someone). He took me to a bar near his apartment. The place was really dive-y and a little too hipster for my taste, but whatever. We were having a great time talking and enjoying some drinks, when i sudden notice the TVs behind the bar…. instead of playing sports or the news or something, they’re playing old porn movies. I brought it to his attention, and he kinda just shrugged it off and said it was normal for this place.”
A Buncha Crazies…
“Back in my days of using Tinder quite frequently, I went on a few dates with some quite nice people, and some others who were just complete whack jobs.
One guy, the first Tinder date I’d ever been on, commented about 15 minutes into the date that he preferred girls without makeup on, and made wiping motions at my face. Found out later on in the date that he worked as one of those people who stood on the street with an iPad and asked people if “they had a few minutes to take a survey?”, which only added to his gentlemanly character.
I had a girl – once again, only around 15 minutes into the date – ask what I was looking for out of tinder, and then informed me that she had a boyfriend (not mentioned in our previous online conversations) who “wasn’t really okay with her dating around, but what could he really do”. Later on that date, she invited me back to her house to meet her cats. Not knowing what this possible innuendo meant, I politefully declined.
I’ve lost two different articles of clothing – a Cobain-seque beautiful green cardigan and a Breakfast Club John Bender style vintage denim jacket – at guys houses (my fault there I will admit), whom have just completely ignored my requests to “please just find my f’ing clothes and I will leave you alone – I do not want another date, I just want my wardrobe back” (both of these pieces have still not found their way back to me 🙁 )
But the real creme de la creme is Jack – a lovely, nerdy seeming guy, who after a few drinks (had a much lower alcohol tolerance than I), admitted to being an online drug dealer that made around $5,000 a week, who only sold drugs he really believed “would not cause harm to people”, like pot and mushrooms.
Jack still remains to be one of the most interesting and intelligent people I’ve ever met – we talked for hours about philosophy, books, travelling, the difference between money washing and laundering. He went into great detail once about how he stole a Go-pro camera from his previous work through a feat worthy of a Mission Impossible movie (changed the stocktake numbers, put in a box, placed the box in the garbage, monitored the security guards routine, and went back one night to claim his reward). I went on two more dates with him out of sheer curiosity and was kept well entertained. He’s dating a nice hippie girl now and recently went to Iceland.
I gave up tinder late last year and, while I have absolutely no regrets, I do sometimes miss the weirdness of it all.”
Get Me Outta Here!
“Met a guy online (of course) and after talking for a couple weeks we decide to go out. I meet him at his house because (supposedly) his car broke down that morning. This guy is dressed like an extra greasy version of the Fonz. I try to look past this but secretly I’m devising ways I can destroy his leather jacket and dispose of his pomade. His house was also filthy. If you know someone is coming to your house for the first time maybe consider wiping down the counters and chucking the old pizza boxes.
While eating dinner he never once asks me anything about myself. He rambled on for at least an hour about his job as a customer service representative, repeatedly comparing it to my job as a 911 Dispatcher. Apparently they are pretty much the same job. He also kept telling me how much smarter and more attractive I was than his ex girlfriend who he repeatedly referred to as “the b—- ex.”
He wants to go to a movie afterward but I honestly could not imagine sitting through an entire movie right next to this guy (and not just because he would put down his stinky vaporizer). I don’t want to hurt his feelings so I tell him that I think I may have some mild food poisoning and I needed to get him home so I could make a mad dash home. I realized that if I’d rather claim to have diarrhea then go to a movie with this guy it’s probably not going to lead to a second date.
Within a minute of leaving his house he starts texting me about how great our date was, grilling me to get a time for our next date. I finally tell him that I think he is an awesome guy but our personalities don’t really mesh. He loses it and starts telling me that he’d never f— a fat, ugly b—- like me and I should be grateful that he lowered himself enough to go out with me in the first place. Oh, and he hopes I die. I no longer felt bad about not wanting to go on a second date. I haven’t been on a date since then… I’ve decided spinsterhood is more my jam.”