From loud parties to obnoxious banging, we've all had to deal with some pretty terrible neighbors. But...we're not sure they'll even come close to what these people had to go through...
“Austin, Texas: I live in a duplex behind Chuy’s on N. Lamar. I work pretty early, and on the weekends, and generally go to bed around 11pm. This friday night, my neighbors in the duplex on the far side of me threw a “Welcome home from jail” party for somebody. Sure enough, loud music late at night, but I figure “Meh, its Friday, people should be able to party” plus, like the Blues Brothers say, “You can’t call the cops on him, he just got out of the joint.” So I just try to tune it out. Not so for the neighbor who I share my back yard fence with. He comes out and tells them to “Shut the f— up, b—–!” Angry words are shouted back and forth, kind of across my yard. Pretty soon, it becomes threats. At this point, I start to get the phone and dial. “I will f—– shoot your a–, mother—–!” “Bring it, bitch! I’m in the 512 Crips!” (I think that’s what he said) “You’re in the 512? So am I!” “No s—!” “Well, come on over and have a beer!” Crisis averted, music turned down, no double murders that night.”
Let ‘Er Rip!
“I once lived in an apartment where the wall was thin. The neighbors bathroom was on the same wall as my bedroom. The neighbor had the loudest flatulence I’ve ever heard in my life and he liked to come home late at night, run a bath, and let it all rip. He could hear me ROFL and he’d be like ITS NOT FUNNY DUDE. Anytime we saw each other around the complex it would be kinda awkward.”
Easy Come, Easy Go
“My neighbors used to be absolute hicks. I live in a small town, sure. But these guys took it a step further than most. Makeshift hot tubs made of a tarp and a radiator, drunken fights every night, etc.
They were also notorious for not paying for ANYTHING. They would drive away from the gas station after fueling up “forgetting” to pay. Same with groceries. Everyone knew they were dirt poor, so the community as a whole let it slide.
My mom is the town administrator, so she takes all of the payments for land titles and utilities, etc. This house was supposed to be foreclosed on about 14 months prior.
After one too many drunken fights, my mom decided they had gone too far. One of our windows got smashed, and they said “well maybe you should mind your own f—- business then!” When we asked “what the h—, man?!”
So what did our family do? My mother gave them their notice of foreclosure, and after it was seized, we bought the property and bulldozed it to build a garage.”
Taking The Gold
“While I was going to college I lived in my mom’s apartment with her. The building only had 4 units in it. Her neighbors across the hall and down one floor would perform sexual Olympics on an almost nightly basis. I’m talking out-of-proportion screaming and banging on the walls–think of the most OTT porno you can and you may be close; it was obviously done so that people would hear it.
Same neighbors were selling weed out of their apartment–which was right across the hall from where the landlady lived. They left a quart-size Ziploc bag full of the stuff out on the front porch one day, apparently for someone to pick up (it was hidden in a potted plant). Landlady found it, knew what it was, threw it out. I can only imagine their panic.
Also, since they were shady as h—, they found my mother’s phone number on a piece of trash (I’m assuming) and gave it to debt collectors as their “primary phone number.”
Luck Of The Draw
When I lived in my own place, same town, a drug dealer moved in across the hall. Dozens of people would be coming and going at all hours of the day and night, 7 days a week. The hallway constantly reeked of pot. I woke up one night at about 2 am to a chick outside his door screaming her head off. “DEREK! GIVE ME MY F—— PURSE! OPEN THE _F—— _DOOR, YOU F—– A—–!” Over. And over. And over again.
Being a small, cowardly, twentysomething female, all I felt brave enough to do was listen at the door while this went on for half an hour. I finally heard someone from down the hall come out and say, “You need to get out or I’m calling the cops.” Fuel for the fire. “SEE?! YOU’RE GONNA GET THE COPS CALLED ON YOUR A–, DEREK! GIVE ME MY F—— BAG!”
Same neighbor had a “friend” who came over around the same time when the dude was CLEARLY not at home and banged on the door for almost an hour. When I woke up to this, I opened my door (chain lock on, of course) and said in as clipped a tone as I could manage, “He is obviously not home. Please stop banging on the door. It is 2 a.m.”
A Peeping Tom
I was at my neighbor-at-the-time’s apartment just down the hall just shooting the s— and watching a movie with the lights off (we both lived on the first floor and we’re both nervous women, so we were always paranoid about someone watching us). Her window is open and I hear a rustling outside.
I turn the movie off, tell her something’s weird, and crawl over to the window. Across the courtyard I see a kid, probably around my age (he was wearing a t-shirt with our college’s logo emblazoned across the front) sitting on the ledge across from us, facing away. (There was another apartment building across the courtyard with an apartment right “there”, which he appeared to be looking in to).
We watch silently for a little bit when all of a sudden this kid springs up and starts bending over, trying really hard to get a good look in this window. We can see shapes moving inside the other apartment and hear some noises–it was rather apparent at that time that there was some…sex…going on in there. He scoots closer to the window, crouches down, peeks in.
At this point we have no doubt what he’s doing and we’re both thoroughly creeped out (it was a nasty neighborhood anyway; two women on our block had been mugged in the weeks before), so without hesitation I call 911 and explain the situation.
Kid must have heard me or something, because all of a sudden he gets up and books it down the sidewalk away from us. I tell the operator this and am thinking right, that’s over.
Not five minutes later this little perv comes BACK, as though maybe we’d forgotten about him by then, and resumes his creepy activities. I’ve finally had enough, and I yell out the window,
“I don’t know what the f— you think you’re doing, but I called the cops and you’re about to get your a– busted, you creep.”
In retrospect, I really should have just waited until the cops got there, but in that town they’re not well-known for their subtlety or stealth–plus I knew the kid was jumpy and would probably have hit the alley and gotten away anyway. Kid hopped up and high-tailed it out of there after I finished berating him.
Cops came, informed the couple in this apartment what had happened, went on their merry way. We never saw the kid again, and we were diligent about checking the courtyard at night after that.”
A Terrible Nightmare
“I lived in the basement suite of a four-plex and the people above me were awful (as was my roommate, but that’s a totally different story).
The guy’s alarm would go off every day at 5:30 am. It would go off continuously for two hours when he would actually get up around 8. No snooze button or anything, just constantly blaring the entire time. On multiple occasions I would get mad enough to go up and bang on his door to get him up and shut off the alarm. He was nice but never changed… until he got a roommate…
She was a prostitute, which I don’t really harbour any negative opinions over. The problem was that she did her business at home and my room was directly under hers. Sometimes I would be outside having a cigarette and these guys would come out with their head down and scurry off. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night to someone outside my window, tapping on hers (above mine) to get her to answer the door. I would hear her f—— dudes almost every day.
But the worst part of it all was that the only song I ever heard her listen to, ever, was Creed – With Arms Wide Open. Every day, that song, at least a few times. Day and night. I still cringe thinking about it.”
A Terrifying Discovery
“I had neighbors that had 6 year old twins (a boy and a girl) that they had locked in a room for almost 4 years. The boy managed to escape this past February and was found wandering the streets with s— caked all over his body. The police were called and upon entering the house they found a padlocked door. In this room was a small bed and a toilet chair over flowing with human feces. The walls and floor were also covered.
In another bedroom there were 5 pitbulls chained to a bed with dog s— ankle deep from wall to wall.
Needless to say the kids were taken away and the parents were taken into custody. When the mother appeared in front of the judge she actually told the judge that she didn’t know what she did wrong.”
It’s All Fun And Games ‘Til…
“Slutty, constantly drunk college girls.
Sounds great in theory, but when they live above you, and stomp like centaurs up and down the stairs throwing their beer cans at the wall, it’s not fun.”
“I had a lady live above me that had severe schizophrenia. She constantly thought the units on each side of her and below (me) were yelling at her and making noise.
Being that she did not work, this meant she spent a good 12-16 hours a day stomping around the apartment yelling at us and kicking the walls. The police were called out there so many times they stopped responding, and the leasing office had a bloated eviction process they had to go through before they could get rid of her.
It escalated to the point where she started vandalizing our doors by spraying ketchup on them, knocking and running, and calling the police on us for making the phantom noise.
I ended up having to sleep with earplugs and move my bed away from the wall just to get 4-5hrs a night.”
A Nosy Neighbor
“My neighbor from behind my mom’s house once literally asked her, “Why don’t you use the master bedroom? I never see you go in there with my binoculars.” He wasn’t joking. (She actually doesn’t use the master bedroom, which is visible from his back window).
On top of that, he’s also probably a racist. He started harassing the repair guy from DirecTV (who happens to be black). This guy had a uniform, expensive equipment, and everything. He claimed he looked like he was doing something “suspicious.” Oddly enough, he didn’t seem to think the white kid who did try to break in (in broad daylight no less) was “suspicious.”
On top of THAT he asks my mom one morning if he could have his lawn man remove a tree that he didn’t like. Seeing as how it was on our property (even the branches, it was small), on that strip of land next to driveways, she said no. 3 hours later: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. What the hell was even the point of asking?”
A Bitter Old Man
“I live next to a bitter old man, probably about 78 years old.
When we let our dogs out, usually it’s just for a few minutes so they can do their business. But it was one of the first nice days we’d had in a while, so we let them be outside for a while. They both went to the front of our house to lay in the sun, although they’ve never gone off our property. I guess our neighbor was spraying his lawn with weedkiller, because he walked over to where our dogs were laying and sprayed it in their faces. Their cries and whimpers were one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever heard; they sounded like they were in so much pain (and I was in my room when it happened). My mom saw what was happening, stormed outside, and started screaming through tears at him. My mom is usually a very calm person, I’ve never heard her that upset. She took the dogs to the closest vet, and thankfully they’re both okay still.”
The Definition Of A Terrible Neighbor
“Allow me to tell you the tale of Van the Man.
First day of welcome week my freshman year, I’m put in a small group to tour the campus and whatnot. We’re all sitting in a room, learning each others names and in comes a 7 foot giant. She’s barely dressed with horrible tattoos all the way up to her a– cheeks, which are entirely visible to everyone in the room. She informs us she is a go-go dancer, which “ain’t a stripper so don’t be throwing cash at dis n—-” (actual quote).
She’s odd to say the least, but hey, who am I to judge her? I didn’t realize she lived right next door to me. The first night on campus and there’s a loud ruckus in her room. Now I’m a pretty tolerant person, but this was ridiculous. I go out of my room and can hear her screaming a dude’s name. I go down the hall, and can still hear her clear as day. Finally, I go down the hall, around a corner and into a closet area, curious just how far her voice carried. Still able hear her screaming. It was a long night.
Fast forward through the year. Every night she has multiple dudes over and runs a train on herself, blasts god-awful music until 3 am, and my personal favorite, shouts on the phone at all times. I don’t know what kind of cell plan this b—- had, but it must have included unlimited calling. She talked to people in the bathroom(which was shared by about 20 other people), usually putting them on speaker phone so she could s— and talk without having to hold the phone to her head. Or she’d be shouting to them while she was in the shower. Or yelling at someone in her room loudly enough I could hear the whole conversation. The conversations usually went something like this;
“AW H— NAH DAT B—- THREW A SHOE AT MY HEAD. IT WAS A F—— HIGH HEEL. DAT C— A– M——. SHOOO B—- I TAKIN OUT MUH TRASH IT BE FULL AS F— OF THESE NASTY A– RUBBERS.”
I must have sent in at least a dozen complaints to the housing director, but she stuck around til the end of the year. It got to the point that I was hoping she was murdered when she was out for the entire night, but of course, she was always alive and well the next morning.”
A Downword Spiral
“I had a neighbor who had a drug induced mental break and decided to break into my house in the middle of the night. He was in serious tin foil hat territory. Told me the aliens that we’re beaming the movies into his brain said he had to come talk to me. Took me several attempt to get him off the proverbial ledge but eventually I had to get the cops involved. Downward spirals are terrifying to witness.”
Is This Breaking Bad?
“Neighbours had a giant meth-lab built under their (rented) house, including but not exclusively: fake walls, burnt furniture from an explosion, huge amounts of chemical burns in the back yard, and later a new born baby.
All in a very very very suburban upper-middle class area.”
“I live down the street from a miserable old woman. She sets up tuna traps in her backyard to catch neighborhood cats and dogs and call the pound. She caught my cat when I was 11 and left the most apathetic voicemail on the home phone Thanksgiving day.”
Out Of The Blue
“I’ve got two… interesting experiences. I live in the Netherlands in a type of 1930s apartment that seems to be unique to this country, with my own front door at street level leading into a small staircase with some steep stairs, and the rest of the apartment on 2nd and 3rd floor level. I have one downstairs neighbour, one on the left and one on the right. The walls are pretty thin.
The neighbours left from me were three or four immigrants from some African country and were obviously careless as well as very noisy, including at night. They never gave me any other sort of trouble, except that they would often get random visitors at 3am or something, and sometimes one of them would ring my front door instead of theirs by mistake. One day, all of a sudden a SWAT team came and busted in their front door so violently that my wall got damaged too. I looked and they yelled at me to get away from the window. One of the guys tried to flee over the balcony onto the inner courtyard but was caught in time and ended up on my balcony, so the officer kindly asked if he could come into my place to escort the guy out my front door. Later a lady from the police came and asked me if I had any questions or wanted to talk about the experience. They wouldn’t tell me what they had done, though, but it seems pretty likely that they were drug dealers.
My neighbour on the other side was clearly lonely and in bad health. He never seemed to get any visitors. Sometimes I would hear him through the wall making bizarre noises at 4am or so. One day the police showed up and sealed off his apartment. Investigation of a possible crime, is all they would tell me. I think he offed himself but I never got an answer. About a month later some housing association guys came with a truck and I heard and saw all his stuff being thrown unceremoniously out his living room window and onto the trailer. Felt bad.
The people who since moved into these apartments are fine.”
“Once, I came home and the SWAT team was surrounding my building. My downstairs neighbor was holed up with a lot of ammo and was threatening to kill his wife and kid.”
“Rented a room in what I later realized was a sketchy part of the city. Landlord owned both sides of a semi-detached house and told me he’d put me in the ‘normal people’ half.
One of my roommates is a woman named Charity, who later told me that she was half Aboriginal-Canadian, and was studying ‘Dental Administration’ in college. So far everything is fine as she is paid by the landlord to keep the place clean and everyone keeps to themselves.
About a week in, though, I start noticing that she’s always bringing these random dudes home, who I keep bumping into in the kitchen. They’re typically big, muscular black guys, always a different dude each time. This was a bit strange considering she was quite the opposite of in-shape and attractive, but whatever, maybe she found a trove of ripped chubby chasers. Then came the loud, loud sex that would last hours and hours of her screaming like a dying elk.
Three months later, I find out that she’s actually married and has an apartment down the street with her husband, but she rents out her room so that she can hire male prostitutes and have sex with them.”
A Hidden Secret…
“My old neighbour wasn’t a nightmare but I’m pretty sure he was a serial killer. Now, let’s be clear, I never saw him kill anyone but…
He was a 40 year old male who lived alone in an upper middle class area in suburban Australia.
He had a large bomb shelter in his backyard and regularly went in there.
He came and left at odd times and none of the other neighbours knew him at all.”
Filled With Dust
“Long story short, my downstairs neighbor decided to sandblast his brick wall on the down low without telling the landlord. Living in an old brick building I asked him if he sealed up all the cracks in his unit, he said sure.
Fast forward a week later, sandblasting commences. Im watching football when suddenly this white dust starts coming up from the floor. I look around and its coming up everywhere. Five minutes later my entire unit is completely filled with white dust.”