I once had a colleague I hated (he was very condescending and really arrogant), so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would f--- his s--- right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop Source
My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas. When she's being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mug and I delight at the mild irritation it brings Source
When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch "Handbook" - it was full of kiddie expirements and stuff and was pretty fun. My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the 'tricks' from the book, you fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil. I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to "work", so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering - it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed Source
I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck. Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer's factorial (4.22).If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.He retook that class Source
I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that "included high speed internet" ... the setup was basically one s----y router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was s---, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice. Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the "free" router was, and kept the passwords the same... so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage. After about two weeks I changed one router's password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the "free" router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn't reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage Source
Our property management company hadn't touched the snow in our parking lot for days ... after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things... the response I got was basically "Sorry, we'll get to it sooner or later".
... side note - years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.
I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for "snow plow" "snow blower" "snow shovel" or there was a "sale on X snow removal" gear.... it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.
They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they're working on it.... so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good Source
Ok, this is not easy to understand, so let me explain first something about Chinese (Shang hai) culture. Old Chineses think that's it's really shameful to have a son near 30 who is still not married, cause it means that you are not a good parent for not having find a good bride for your son, or you are to poor to afford a marriage , or your son is ugly. People won't care if someone don't want to have a family or what, anyway they are going to speak ill about you and your family. The pressure is pretty high and everyone tend to want a grandchild (better if MALE ) as soon as possible. My mother got sick 5 years ago in China, we are emigrants so she don't have insurance there, her treatment went more than 30.000 and we went broken. Since her aunts and uncles still owned her some money she asked back some, but guess what? They denied it and let her sick and wait for death, cause they don't need the friendship of someone broken. I have to quite school and work to help her and that the reason for my poor English. After 4 years she was cured and I got myself a family, had two sons and bought a house with the help of my in laws business. Everything turn out just fine. Last year i took my sons to China and went to visit all of them as the tradition says and they gave me the red pocket money for my sons with a sour face and I ask my mom why. She told me that her aunt and uncle 's sons still are single (all of them) and I have not one but two children. I spend the whole night pointed out how wonderful to have children Source
I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment). So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy's son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah. One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members. So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his miserable excuse for a "solo" he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason. Really the most petty thing I've ever done, but revenge is sweet (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine) Source
This happened to my SO when he was at university - another comment here reminded me of it. His class were doing presentations in pairs, and he got paired with some girl who didn't bother to bring notes or research information for their presentation. She instead let him do all the work, and any slides she did were made from his notes and research. He complained to his tutor and she told him "Don't worry, leave it to me". And then the day of the presentation comes. They present, and then at the end the tutor asks the girl a question. If I remember correctly the question was something like "Is there any evidence to suggest that some cultures are more prone to mental health problems?". And the girl answered no. The tutor then asked my SO the exact same question, and because he'd actually read the research on the topic, he was able to list of several studies that showed that some cultures are in fact more prone to mental health issues. The girl glared at him the entire time he answered the tutors question. Pretty sure she ended up with a D, while he got an A or B Source
My very first semester of college, I took a philosophy class that required a co-written paper. I was partnered with a guy who was clearly rushing a frat. But he seemed nice enough at first, like he was actually interested in working on the paper, so I didn't mind helping him out. I forget if there were deadlines he missed, or if I just got tired of holding his hand through the thing. I would get texts saying he'd been busy all night with whatever for his frat, and did I have any more notes he could use. Anyway, he pulled that s--- again the night before it was due. I'd been afraid that he wouldn't get his part done so I'd written the whole paper to turn in just in case. I told him, "I wrote your half." I didn't tell him I'd also be telling the professor I wrote his half Source
We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn't listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper.... that's right. I forced the man to live with a dirty ass Source
Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic ass lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don't know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces. So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back. He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on Source
My boyfriend's uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms. No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her's Source
This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout then to the teacher like he'd worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work. One day our teacher comes in to class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. "Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?" "No,", she responds, thinking he's making inane conversation. "Would you get your nose pierced?" He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts. As usual, he leans over asking for help. "What are some other good things to ask her?" I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I'd have some fun. "Labia, ask if she's going to get her labia pierced." "The f--- is a labia?" he says. "Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that's like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?" "Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?" Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully Source
Back when i was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iPhone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can't leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he's around. So i beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn't realize yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now i use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says "Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?" Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that f'er Source
I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total asshole that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities). A while after the internship he called to tell me i would have to give a statement at court. He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn't. And of course i didn't lie in front of the judge. My boss' attorney gave me a look i will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn't work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn't pick up. F--- this guy Source
My mom had a fantastic one. She was a language teacher at my high school and years after I had graduated, she called me kind of upset because a group of guys was trying to make her look dumb. The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish, and had a week or so to prepare it, then had to perform it in front of the class. When she called for them to do theirs, they said, "But we already did ours, we're not doing it again." She said, "You definitely didn't do it, I don't have any record of it here and I would remember it if you had." They refused to do it, insisting they already performed it and that it was her fault she didn't take notes/scores down. She was feeling puzzled and questioning herself, when one of the good kids came and said, "They didn't do it - they were bragging about making you look stupid and threatened the whole class if they told you anything. But please don't tell them I told you this, I don't want any problems with them." (These were those stereotypical dumb jock types who everyone was scared of for whatever reason). My mom was really into yoga at the time and got a great idea while meditating. She went in the next day and said, "Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don't know how I forgot!" She went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, that their dialogue hadn't been as long as required, that they didn't include the necessary vocabulary, etc. All made up. She failed them all on the project and they couldn't do a thing about it without admitting they'd made it all up Source
When I was a kid I had a bed wetting problem. I am not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems... at the time however, this was humiliating. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified. Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field. The whole "hand in cup of warm water" deal didn't work. I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother. "I don't know what to do, now BOTH of them are pissing the bed," she explained, clearly frustrated. After a few more times of "framing" my brother as a bed wetter he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment Source
In college (early 1990's), I lived with several guys in a suite. One liked to call me "chunky A", yes, I was chubby (I still am, but I have lost a lot of weight and I am continue to lose more). I asked him politely but firmly to not call me that. He laughed and did it more. I proceeded to call up every info-merrical I saw on TV to send him baldness cures (he was losing his hair), Tourist information from places like Iowa and Nebraska, had information sent to him about adult bed wetting, etc. He accused me of it, and I told him, why would I do such a thing to him? I kept it up for 2 years while he lived in the dorms. His junior year, he moved out to an off campus place. I found out where he lived and I waited a couple of months and started it all over again Source
In Texas, there is a law that allows the US to take certain possessions to satisfy a debt owed, such as from a lawsuit. So this defendant had been committing Medicare fraud, got caught, has to pay back the money. He's also a total prick during the lawsuit -- obstructionist, rude, etc. When the US finally has its judgment and he's pleading poverty, the US Attorney that ran the suit basically ends up walking through the "impoverished" guy's multi-million dollar house to hand pick what is going to be seized. He takes the big ticket items that he's allowed, but it's not going to be enough -- so then he just starts taking little s--- to piss the guy off. Book half-read on the nightstand? Gone. Can't take the garage -- but you can take the garage door-opener, so...gone. I don't know what else he took but I think the idea is brilliant. The book would piss me off so much Source