Many times pacts are made out of a broken heart. Knowing your best friend will never break your heart, you agree to love each other forever if it doesn't workout with someone else. But sometimes, things don't go as planned...
Time Changes Everything
Did it, and it lasted 4 years. We had both changed too much. That’s all I got to say about that. Source
Jumping The Gun
Made a deal with a friend that we would get married at 35 if neither of us found anyone else by then. She decided to skip all that shit after a few months and we’ve been together for almost 7 years now. Source
Life Is Definitely Not Fair
Probably too late for this not to get buried, but I have a story about this. We met in college, and were instant best friends. I was 20; she was 18. We spent all our time together, and were briefly lovers, but we never formally dated because both of us were very much into being wild and free and enjoying our youth. We dated other people on and off, but we talked about it and agreed that a committed relationship between the two of us would be an all-or-nothing kind of thing. Since neither of us wanted to give up our hedonistic, promiscuous, irresponsible lifestyle, we made a point of not committing to a relationship. A few years went by that way, and we were very happy, right up until her sisters died.
It was a car accident. They were 16 and 18, and both were killed in the crash. Dead on arrival at the hospital. My friend was utterly, completely devastated. It still hurts me to remember it, even now. Her father, though, was even more devastated, to the point where he was legitimately willing to let himself starve to death rather than try to go on living. She moved home, out of state, to take care of him. She cut ties with everyone for awhile, even me. I didn’t see her again for two years. She was so different after that. Before the accident, she’d always been the most joyful, exuberant, positive person I’d ever met. After she came back, she was quieter, sadder, maybe wiser. I wanted to be there for her more than I’d ever wanted anything in the world. Not being able to fix things for her, not being able to make it better, that hurt more than anything I could ever remember. I guess that’s when I realized how in love with her I was.
I told her that I loved her, that I wanted to be there with her, and she told me that she couldn’t handle the idea of any kind of emotional connection for awhile. Maybe a few years, she said. Maybe never. Maybe she’d never be able to open up emotionally again. She said she needed space from me, particularly from me. She said she needed to figure out what it meant to be alive in a world where her sisters were gone. She asked me to give her time, and I told her that I’d give her anything she wanted. She told me that she’d never been happier than she was when we were together. I told her the same. I told her that I understood, and that’s when we made our pact. I was 25 then, and she was 23. We agreed: if she turned 30 and I turned 32, and if she had learned to heal, and if she hadn’t fallen in love with someone else, and if I hadn’t fallen in love with someone else, then we’d get married. So that’s how we parted ways. She moved to Wyoming, to be alone. I moved to Germany, to get as far away from her as I could. We didn’t keep in touch at first, but over the next few years we built up a correspondence. We wrote letters because we both liked writing letters. We emailed now and then. Sometimes we’d mail each other books that we thought the other would like. Years went on, and we became closer and closer. When I turned 30, I half-jokingly brought up our marriage pact. I told her that I hadn’t ever fallen for anyone else. (I didn’t mention this, but I couldn’t have fallen for anyone else. I always compared every other woman to her, and in my memory she was perfect.) She replied that she was still very serious about our agreement, and that she’d never fallen in love with anyone else either. I asked her if she thought she had begun to heal, and she said she had, as much as a person could ever heal from something like that. A year later, she told me she’d like us to meet and spend some time together, to see if the spark was still there. It was. She was living in California at that time, and I found a job there. I’d always wanted to live in California anyway. I proposed to her six months later, and she smiled and told me “no fair”, that I had to wait another few months, when she’d be turning 30. I thought it was silly, but at that point things were going so well that a few months didn’t seem like they could matter at all. But I’m crying now, so I’ll have to wrap this up quickly.
She died. That’s how the story ends. She was hit by a drunk driver and spent 2 days in the ICU before her body gave out. I went to her funeral. I spoke to her father but I barely remember what we said. I’ve never spoken to him since. I don’t have the willpower to make myself find out how he’s doing. That will be four years ago this November. I’m in therapy and trying to learn how to have feelings again, other than blank, mindless, miserable rage. I often wonder if this is what it felt like for her. She made progress. She learned to feel again. That thought is what keeps me going. She did it. She’d want me to do it.
That’s it. That’s the story. It’s a shitty story, and I hate it. Source
A Soldier’s Nightmare
My ex fiance and I have (had?) A deal to get married at 30 if we didnt have anyone else. I say fiance, because shortly after that we decided to date in earnest. We got engaged when I got orders overseas, but she decided staying stateside and finishing school was more important. And I understand that, she had a dream she needed to follow. I came back stateside 2 years later and we were going to meetup and see where things went. She had a coffee date with a guy but didnt expect much from it. Theyve been together 4 years now and are talking wedding bells. I’m happy for her. He seems like a decent guy and she’s happy. Source
I was in a deal like that. We both turned 40, single…but nothing happened. Neither of us even brought it up. We had changed so much that it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Source
A Ring Pop Proposal
When my college roommate got married, her little sister and I plotted to get married by 30 to cash in on all the sweet wedding gifts. It became a running joke, with a hint of reality. Like, “ha ha, but maybe?”. When she was 29, we were all back in town for Christmas and she brought her long term boyfriend. Apparently, she was getting mad at him for dating this long with no proposal. So, I stopped by the grocery store and got one of those candy ring pops. I reminded her of our deal, gave her the ring and offered her my services if no other suitors had stepped up yet. A laugh was had by all, but her bf went out the very next day and bought her a real ring and proposed. I’m going to take full credit for them being happily married for 4 years now. And in case you’re worried for me, I met a girl that very weekend that I’ve been dating for almost 3 years. Happy endings for everyone! Source
The Teen Scene
Made this pact with a friend in high school and we’re still friends today. We’ve got 14 years to go until 40, but if we did try to invoke it I could see it going either way really. We’ve tried dating before and that went pretty badly, but a lot changes between 15 and 40, so maybe we wouldn’t be too scared to hold hands if we tried again in a decade Source
I had a “if we are still single” by 30 pact. We didn’t make it to thirty, I was 25 when he told me he wanted to be together. 9 years and going very strong.
EDIT: Details since this is getting some attention. We knew each other from age 13 on. We made the pact around 17. Right before my 25th birthday he called and said “I am sick of trying to find things about people to like when everything I know I love is out there and it’s you”. Source
Back in highschool me and this awesome girl had one for the age of 30. I forgot about it because I got busy travelling and working my career, saw on facebook she got knocked up and looked awesome, then out of nowhere of no contact for a few years afterwards she messages me saying “Im getting married to blablabla, sorry”. At first I was happy and excited for her thinking nothing of it and why it came out of nowhere for a private message, then later that night after a couple beer I remembered our deal then got sad and had more beer.
Stoked for her though, she has a beautiful family in a nice quiet town. Meanwhile I’m a nomadic contractor who’s soul is destroyed who’ll be forever alone HA. Source
Tears, The Tears Are Flowing
At 13 years old, he was my first “boyfriend.” We held hands around school for a couple weeks, then got weirded out about it and decided we were definitely just best friends.
At 18, we promised that if we were still single at 30, we would marry each other. We really were those best friends that “would totally make a perfect couple.” Similar in all the right ways, different in all the complementary ways. But there was still so much to go experience, and we had totally different plans and circles, and it didn’t seem to make any sense.
At 19, he had become a heroin addict. He would come and go from my life, hiding from me when he was using because he was ashamed and didn’t want me to know. Of course I knew. I was patient, I was encouraging, and I missed him when he was flaky.
At 20, he moved another state to get clean and start fresh. After a few months, he made a trip back to our hometown to pick up more of his stuff from his parents’ house. I was thrilled that he was in town. He was supposed to be “on his way” to meet me for dinner so we could catch up. He never showed. He had that tendency to be flaky, so I was disappointed, but I just let it go. I texted him to just call me when he had time to meet for coffee or something, and gave up.
The next evening, I got a frantic phone call from his sister asking if he was with me – no one could find him, he wasn’t answering his phone. His family had looked up his phone records and learned I was the last person he had spoken to. She was hoping his phone had died and he had crashed at my apartment. He hadn’t.
We searched for 3 days. I begged everyone I knew to look for him. Many of our friends shrugged it off as him being his usual flaky self.
At the end of the 3rd day, we found him.
He had died of a heroin overdose. All alone, in his car, in an empty parking lot.
My heart broke. I cried for days on end trying to wrap my mind around it. One second you’re planning to grab dinner with someone, and the next you’re sitting at their funeral in a complete haze, trying not to think about your best friend being cremated because his body was too far ruined by being crumpled in a car in the August heat to salvage for an open casket viewing.
After the funeral, his other sister called me. She wanted to tell me thank you for being a good friend, and for never enabling his drug abuse like many of his other “friends” did. I’ll never forget her saying, “he was totally in love with you. After he had been clean for a few weeks, he told me that once he was better he was going to go home and ask you out on a real date. I asked why he hadn’t just done that already, and he said it was because he wasn’t good enough for you yet, and that you deserved a whole person, not a broken one.”
I’m a bit older and married now, but I don’t make “if in the future…” plans or promises anymore. If I want something, I try to make it happen. If I dream of something, I start working toward it today. Because silly teenage us didn’t even bother to consider the reality – you may never turn 30. Source
A Happily Ever After
I crushed on a girl since I met her at 15. Never once told her how I felt – junior high thru high school. Went off to different colleges. I always kept in touch throughout the years off and on. We were sort of friends. I’d maybe email her once or twice every couple years. She finally got on facebook around age 35 and we got to talking. Both sort of single with pathetic dating lives at the time, so we joked around about getting married if we were both single by age 40. Never thought it was serious. We lived in different states. Time went on and the keeping in touch fizzled.
I got deployment orders to an undisclosed location in the Middle East and went back to my small home town to visit my mom before I left. I got super drunk with one of my old high school buddies. He had her number so I blew up her phone, texting all my feelings I’ve had for like 20 years. I was black out drunk and vaguely remember doing it. The next morning I embarrassingly read everything I wrote. At first, she was very confused thinking it was the other guy writing all this to her. He was married, btw.
She got a hold of me and we chatted. I called her. Both still single. We texted and called as much as possible during my deployment. She’d send me care packages. Her support really got me through a shitty deployment. When I returned stateside she was there to greet me. We had our first kiss at the airport. It was so exciting, the butterflies. We spent 10 awesome days together. Then I flew back with her and spent the rest of my leave with her. I proposed 3 months later, she said yes. I moved cross country and we got married.
Sounds like something out of a romantic movie, huh?
We currently have a 1 year old and I have to admit our marriage is pretty rocky. A by product of rushing a marriage, child and 10 other life changing events in such a short time span without really getting to know each other and setting and agreeing on life expectations up front. But I’m hopeful with either outcome – stay married or divorce.
That’s my story.
A Not So Happy Ending
Does prom count?
“If we are both single at prom, let’s go together.”
So I asked my bf to prom. He said no. I broke up with him.
My friend’s gf broke up with him around the same time.
We went to prom as friends. Totally fun, would recommend.
We didn’t see each other again for 20 years.
At the 20 year reunion, he was still single. I was getting divorced.
NO, we didn’t “hook up”, but we dated for about 6 months.
Everyone thought it was the greatest love story.
Again, nope. I soon discovered why he was still single and broke up with him. Source
An Unspoken Love
Our deal was 28. He was me best friend. At some point in our friendship he slept with one of my friends, (18yrs) I got the idea we obviously were just friends and we kept it at that… I started dating my now husband and he almost immediately moved home. (A different province). I found out later from a mutual friend that when I got into a serious relationship it crushed him because he was in love with me. He even offered to come back and take care of me when I ended up pregnant a few years ago. I would probably have married him if he would have told me how he felt. Oh well, such is life. Source
I had a married by 30 pact with a girl in high school. I freaking loved this girl. We used to pass around notes that were signed “M30” as sort of a little inside joke between us, even when we were seeing other people. We did date for about a year at some point.
She literally FORGOT by the time she was 27 or so, and swears she has no recollection of the whole thing. I was married already and wasn’t trying to “activate” the arrangement at all, but that still pretty much broke my heart. Source
A Number Game
Probably a bit late but I made a pact for 25, 28, 30, 35, and 55. All different girls. I am currently engaged and getting married in June. To none of them. I guess younger me had this foolproof plan of trying the number game. Turns out, it is much easier to go on dates and actually fall in love with someone. Source