Having a crazy ex is a common occurrence, but the reasons why they are someone's crazy ex varies greatly. People open up about their rocky relationships with some truly unstable people, revealing the insane things they did to finally earn the title of "crazy ex."
At Least It Was Just A Threat?
“Ever had a girlfriend threaten to cut her wrists because your The Sims character is dating the computer generated neighbor? I did” (Source).
Don’t Mess With Man’s Best Friend.
“I suspected she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized she was a f–king sociopath when she asked me to euthanize my dog because ‘he was taking up too much of ‘our’ time.’ I had to pull to the side of the road to finish that conversation because I started shaking uncontrollably after those words sunk in. Then I took the next exit and drove her ass straight home. Haven’t spoken to her since” (Source).
Can Never Look At Nesquik The Same.
“My ex tried to kill me. One morning she prepares me a quick breakfast, a usual thing, but the nesquik was too white. I don’t mean there wasn’t enough chocolate, I mean there was an evident amount of a white powder thing poorly crushed. ‘What is this, sweety?’ ‘What is… what?’ ‘This white thing in the nesquik.’ ‘There isn’t nothing more than that powder thing!’ (Joking and laughing) ‘Is it some cocaine?’ (Grabs a knife) ‘YOU DON’T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUS!’ ‘HEY, WHAT ON EARTH!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!’ She tried to stab me. I would like to say that I fought, but I ran away like a coward b—h (it worked, 10/10 would do again, 0/10 would want the need to do it again) and locked her in the kitchen. I call the police, they arrive, yadda yadda. Apparently the white thing in the cacao was >10 crushed ibuprofen pills. Her excuse was that I talked in dreams about some ‘María’ (the crazy b—h ain’t named María, as you can guess). My guess is that I was dreaming about my mother. I know nothing about her after the trial excluding that she did go to some class of psychiatric prison, left a short amount of years later, and then got a restraining order. This made me get a very depressed though. I became overweight eating a lot. Like… a hell of a lot. A friend of mine helped me to revert that. Then it turned out, he had a crush on me since school (before becoming Jabba the Hutt), and after some cheesy act that still reminds me of a generic love drama, we’re boyfriends now. The best f–king thing in my life” (Source).
Were You Dating Angelina Jolie?
“She tried to draw my blood out while I was asleep to put it in a vial she wore around her neck” (Source).
“She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had AIDS. For some reason, I decided to appease her and got a full STD screening including an expensive AIDS test. A few weeks later, I drove to her house to give her my signed note (Which I had to specifically request) stating my clean bill of health. She accused me of forging the entire thing and in the following argument pulled the plates out of the cupboard and frisbee’d them at me. I left immediately. About 6 months later (I had just started dating my now fiancé) she contacted me to tell me she believed me and wanted to know if she and her two dogs could move in with me. I never responded. Looking back, I know I should have left when she asked me to take the test. I was young and she seemed cool prior to that. She also got extremely religious during the coarse of all this and quit her well paying job without notice. Honestly, I think her mental health was in serious decline” (Source).
A Shrine Is Never A Good Sign.
“She cut out my head from yearbooks and put them on cork boards on her headboard. I found out because one of her friends told me she did, and so I wanted to see for myself. She was working during the day, and I was close with her brother, who let me in when I said I needed to grab something from her bedroom. I walked in and, sure enough, my head on a bunch of muscular bodies that weren’t mine. I broke up with her the next day after seeing the Hey Arnold-esque shrine. Following the breakup, she would drive on my street and stop and wait outside and see if my light was on. It wasn’t, mainly because I knew she would do that. Then she would call me and leave voicemails of her breathing rather heavily. She then tried to get me jealous of her having another guy, which I was everything but jealous of, and she actually had sex with and got pregnant with said guy, which kind of backfired on her. So….happy ending, I guess?” (Source).
“He tried to strangle me with an HDMI cord because I didn’t straightened my hair that day. He had been crazy for a while but that’s the very moment where I realized it” (Source).
Sounds Like A Keeper.
“He got himself locked in four point restraints in the ER because he was convinced he had AIDS and started trying to ‘infect’ the staff. He also proudly told me he was the son of Jesus Christ, and one time tried to kick in my door at 3:00 am as a grand romantic gesture. Oh, and he thought his bald spot would grow hair again if he was just a better person” (Source).
A Healthy Mistrust.
“I noticed my under things were going missing. I mentioned it while doing the laundry. He accused me of cheating, saying I must have left my things at some dudes house I was cheating with and began beating me for the missing items. I was pregnant with his child at the time. I kick him out, scared s–tless how I was going to support myself while I was about to give birth and miss work for 6 weeks. I began packing his things to keep my frightened mind busy. Find a big box hidden in the basement full of my missing under things, huge inflatable butt plugs, and transexual porn. My thigh highs were tied in knots with ball hairs sticking out of them. I put in a video tape labeled with my name. It’s him dressed as me with my clothing on, beating off and f–king his a– to the idea of being me. His nuts tied up with my stockings. Turns out he was a secret cross dresser/trans with a violent history and multiple drug charges. Lied about everything, from his education to his orientation. I don’t trust human beings anymore…” (Source).
Let God Sort Him Out.
“He suffered PTSD due to surviving an F5 tornado… and then became a satanist, was arrested for shoplifting, was addicted to cough medicine, and he drove his car into a telephone pole while high on PCP and had to be rescued by the jaws of life while his car was on fire. He was also an ‘adult baby’ who enjoyed wearing diapers and children/baby clothes, pacifiers, etc. Also liked to go to clubs in drag. Cheated on me at least once with a random guy from the internet (before the days of craigslist and all that). (I’m a woman.) Ended up in rehab and now plays in a Christian band. Oh and his father is a preacher. PREACHERS KIDS, I SWEAR” (Source).
Probably Need To Shorten That Wick On Your Fuse.
“Cat disappeared. Strange, was a friendly cat. Upstairs neighbor with big dogs came down screaming that my ex had somehow convinced both dogs to jump out the window to their deaths. She attacked me with scissors and a knife, different days. Blew some guy in his car outside of our apartment. Finally, turned on her hairdryer and threw it in the shower with me. Takes a lot to piss me off. To elaborate a bit, I was young and stupid and she was sexy as f–k. This doesn’t excuse my not bugging out much sooner, but it might give you some insight into my frame of mind. Regarding the cat, not really that unusual, he was an indoor/outdoor cat, so any number of things may have happened to him. I have no idea. It’s more of a ‘in retrospect, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that crazy b—h killed him’ thing. The dogs; now that’s much stranger. My ex hated those dogs, they were big and noisy, and ran around the upstairs apartment playing all the time. As such she started a bit of a war the with upstairs neighbor. I stayed the f–k out of it. My ex had said several times that she was ‘going to kill those f–king dogs,’ but I passed it off as just being annoyed. The incident, whatever it was, happened while I was at work. I came home to the neighbor screaming at my crazy ex about how my ex somehow had coaxed the dogs to jump from the window. Now, my ex was very petite, and these were big dogs, so there was no way she could have physically thrown the dogs from the window. I’ve owned a few dogs in my life, and no matter how stupid they are, they were never so dumb as to just fling themselves out a window. Now, I have no idea what the f–k actually happened at all. BUT, at this point I did start looking at my ex from the corner of my eye, wondering. Attacking me with scissors and later with a knife. Well, these incidents proved beyond a doubt that she was dangerous. But, both happened in the heat of a moment, during arguments. As I mentioned, she was quite petite, and I was much faster than her, so I had little trouble disarming her without really being in harms way myself. I mean, it wasn’t like she was going to just try to kill me in my sleep in cold blood, right? Yeah… I forgot to mention, there was another attack, where she tried to mace me in our apartment. Inside. Windows closed. I just backed up, and raised one eyebrow, like wtf are you even doing? The mace just settled in a big cloud in the middle of the room, missing me entirely. This REALLY made her mad, and she charged in for another go with her can of mace. Straight into the cloud she’d just created. She dropped like a rock. I rolled my eyes. All of these things, of course, happened over a few years, and in the time in-between it was all normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. It wasn’t like it was two or three years of nothing but crazy 100% of the time. Relationships aren’t that simple. Anyway, near the end we had both sort of stopped caring, that’s when I caught her having sex with a guy in a car outside the apartment. That was the ‘whelp, this is 100% done’ moment. So I set my mind and attention to finding a new place. Oddly, we were getting along fine now. We had both accepted it, or so I thought. One day I come home and hop in the shower. The past several days had actually been great. Laughs, sex, cooking. She comes home while I’m still in the shower, walks in the bathroom, turns on her hairdryer, and without a word, without emotion, just throws it in the shower with me. Just a dead eyed stare. I pulled a f–king Matrix slow motion action jump, arms out, water droplets slowly flying out in some sort of hyper reality, as if, well, someone had just thrown a hairdryer in your shower. Then I got dressed and walked the f–k out. Came to get my things later with an army of friends” (Source).
Just A Tad Too Trusting.
“Claimed her dad beat her, then came to spend the weekend, told me her mom died, and had to stay with me because she had nowhere to go. Brought guys over to have sex on my bed while I was at work (unknown to me at the time), and one time I came home early from work, she still had a guy hiding in the restroom (unknown to me at the time). I got her a job, at my friend’s company, and she showed up for one day , then never showed up again (unknown to me at the time, my friend didn’t mention it). Stole my social security number and took out credit cards in my name to buy lots of clothes, and never paid off the credit cards. Told me she was on the pill, wasn’t. Oh, and of course her mom wasn’t really dead. Then her mom starts calling me telling me she’s going to murder me. Stored drugs in my house. Stole my car. I was too trusting” (Source).
Always Do Your Research.
“I had one mega-crazy ex. This girl was 5 kinds of f–ked in the head and needed to be locked the f–k up. First, she had a kid. I didn’t doubt that, I saw her stretchmarks. not a big deal. She claimed the kid had been kidnapped by the baby-daddy and disappeared. OK – stranger things have happened. Things started not adding up soon. She was a pathological liar – started with ‘I make $60/hr in the military,’ which I knew was bulls–t for her rank, since my mom was a higher rank than she was, and made far less than that. She stole my car one night, and by the time the cops got there she was already back and claimed innocence, and the cops threatened to arrest me for making a false report. Then she tried playing the ultimate psycho card, and said she’d had a call saying her kid/daddy had been in a wreck in Canada, and the kid was dead. At first, I wasn’t sure to call BS on that or not. 2 days later she downed a bottle of sleeping pills with a full bottle of Vodka. While she was in the hospital, I did some digging and found out that she and her husband got a divorce and he was awarded custody due to her being a complete nutbag. I Noped the f–k out of there as fast as I could” (Source).
I Think The Word You’re Looking For Is “Douchebag Complex.”
“Said he would find it ‘humorous in a way’ if I died. Also was known for saying, ‘I don’t have a god complex… it’s called a messiah complex'” (Source).