Becoming a parent is a scary thing, especially seeing it up close and personal. These stories of new dads seeing their baby for the first time are down right hysterical.
Hey Mom, Thanks!
At a forceps delivery last night: the dad to be was so horrified/impressed by the amount of pain his wife had gone through during her labour that he phoned up his own mum to say ‘thanks.’ Source
Watching Down Under
When my older sister was being born, my dad was in the room. He was so excited to watch he screamed “HONEY!! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!!!”
My mum dead-pan: “I’m a bit busy, can I get back to you dear?” Source
A Face Of Shear Horror
My own husband during my first C section. The doc asks if he wants to look over the curtain at the baby being delivered. He looks over. Looks back… with a look of horror.
“What’s wrong?” “Your insides……are on your outsides.”
I will never forget the look on his face or the sound of his voice. Source
A Unique Birthmark
When I was born, my dad pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star at the bottom of my foot. To make sure they didn’t lose me. Source
What Are THOSE?!
My son’s father is a very well-educated, well-spoken man. He was with me in the hospital room when I gave birth, and the first thing he said after seeing our son for the first time was:
“OH MY GOD! Look at his balls!”Source
ET, Phone Home
I was a C-section baby.
A couple of years ago, the topic came up with my parents while drinking. I mention that it sounds kinda gross. My father looks me right in the eye and says, “Have you ever seen Alien? It was just like that.” Source
The Pain Lies In The Fingers
For the birth of my oldest brother, my Dad was holding my Mom’s hand. After he was born, my Mom noticed he was rubbing his hand. She asks him why he’s rubbing his hand, my Dad said, “Well, you were squeezing my hand pretty hard.” My Mom asks, “Why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you?” Dad says, “Well, I figured you were in more pain than I was.” Source
Ready, Set, GO!
According to my parents, I was a super fast delivery. Like so fast that the doctors/nurses had stepped out of the room to go attend to someone else and my mom grabbed my dad and told him to get ready to catch me. My dad didn’t even have time to put on gloves and had to catch me, baby gunk and all. Apparently he smiled, passed me to the nurses (who came rushing in), kissed my mom on the lips, then leaned over and vommed everywhere.Source
Mind Making It Smaller?
Obgyn med student here. After the baby came out, both parents were so happy I almost cried. The mom had some small vaginal tears, which is normal, so as the doctor was suturing the tears the dad goes, “Hey doc can you throw in a couple extra in there for me?” The wife gives him the look of death. Without missing a beat the doctor says, “Sorry I don’t think I could make it small enough for you.” Source
Sarcasm At Its Finest
I was born in the 80s, and my dad was in the operating room. I have a few older brothers who were all born naturally, but bro #3 did some damage so I was born via scheduled c-section; something my parents weren’t really used to. My parents didn’t know the sex of their new baby (me) ahead of time, so it was going to be a surprise. The surgeon put his hand in my mom’s abdomen to reach for me, and yelled to the room “It’s a girl!” before getting me out. My dad was so excited he just blurted out, “How can you tell??” and the surgeon looked at him with a sarcastic face and said, “She’s wearing earrings”. Source
That’s One Big Baby
When I was born, my father (who is a gynecologist himself) came from watching me do my big entrance (or exit, depending on how you look at it) and said to my mom, “… You’re not going to believe what you just did.”
I was over ten pounds at birth.Source
You’re Doing It Wrong!
Naturally like most babies, I was crying after I was born. My dad was yelling at the nurses saying that they were doing something wrong since I wouldn’t stop crying….they kicked him out of the room.Source
Brown Eyed Girl
My dad was a singer when I was little. He’d sing to me before I was born. I always heard that the first time he held me he started singing Brown-eyed Girl and I stopped crying to listen because I recognized his voice. Source
I like my dad’s story. When I was born, after they took me back for checkup stuff and my mom was in recovery, he went outside and took a ton of pictures of the sky. He said it was such a beautiful day out that he couldn’t resist. I still have the pictures.Source
Like Father, Like Boyfriend?
Apparently when I was born, my dad looked at me in shock and exclaimed “She’s going to date guys like me!”
For context, my dad’s kind of a smart-a**. It makes me giggle whenever my mom tells the story. Source
The Show Off
The day I was born my dad took me down every hall in the hospital and showed me off to everyone who would look, “Look how beautiful my little girl is!” My mom said he was gone with me for over an hour. Source
Breathe, Just Breathe
Oh my dad started freaking out so much when I was born that he stole my mom’s oxygen mask for himself. The doctor’s started yelling at him about how the baby (me) needed the oxygen and had to steal it away from him. Source
You are NOT the father!
As a paramedic I have delivered 14 babies and I will never forget this one…
African american woman very pregnant and her latin boyfriend are in my ambulance. We are very close to Albert Enstein medical center and she isn’t going to make it to the hospital. I set up for the delivery and get everyone mentally prepared. Mom was wonderful and we soon have a fifth person in the ambulance. The boyfriend who was explained to me as the dad was just white in shock. This isn’t uncommon so he sits and breathes. As we are backing into the bay at the ER I wipe the baby off and we all realize this child is dark featured and looks more black. The “father” looks at the baby screams “It’s not mine!” and dives out the backdoors as my partner opens them and proceeds to run as fast as I have ever seen someone run. I wish I knew the rest of what happened. Source
I was born in the 80’s and the ultrasound technology wasn’t that great. What my parents didn’t know was that instead of one baby there were two. Our hearts were beating at the same time and they could never tell the sex so they thought it was just one giant baby. So, I come out. Then my mom says “Doc, I still feel pain” and he looks and says “I see another head!” Apparently my father said “What the f*ck? Who’s baby is that?” …and then my sister popped out. They were obviously floored. Source
The Preoccupied Father
When my dad was born my grandpa wasn’t even there. He was asleep in the lobby of the hospital. The doctor had to go and find him, to tell him he was a father. When he came in to the delivery room and the doctor showed him my dad he only had one thing to say, “I thought they were supposed to be cute.” Source
The Worst And Best Day
My birth was both a terrifying and wonderful day all at the same time. My mother haemorrhaged pretty badly, so my dad had this turbulent hour in which he was both crying with joy over the birth of his first child, and also with terror at the thought of losing his wife. The doctors wouldn’t let him back in the room while they were trying to save my mom’s life, so apparently for this hour all he did was pace the hallways outside the room holding me, and refusing to let anyone else near me as if he was already preparing for it to just be me and him.
My dad has never stopped being an utterly devoted – and emotional – father.Source
Two Left Feet
When I was born, they took me off immediately to clean me, take my footprints, bundle me up, and whatnot. I guess the two nurses were in a bit of a hurry and were doing both at the same time and managed to get a print of my left foot twice instead of a left and a right. Apparently upon seeing the prints he became extremely distressed and literally ripped the blanked off me to make sure I didn’t ACTUALLY have two left feet.Source