Who is the person that you know best in the whole world? For pretty much every married couple, that's an easy question. Falling in love and spending your life with another person basically means you know everything about each other, but there are still some surprises that manage to pop up!
Every couple has their own cute little quirks that make their relationship special. But for one woman, one of the little games she thought she and her boyfriend were playing for years turned out to be completely one-sided:
“This wasn’t after marriage, but after moving in together. I would wake up early for work and tickle one of his feet, he would snatch it back under the cover quickly and then sloowwwwly push it back to its spot peeking out from under the blanket. I thought this was a cute game we played whenever I was leaving for work and I did it every morning for almost 2 years. Then one day after I had moved in, I did it to him while he was awake and he gave me a confused look and asked “What are you doing?” I told him I was just trying to play our morning tickle game and he had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. Turns out, he’s only ticklish when he’s sleeping and I was unknowingly playing a game alone for almost 2 years.”
The opportunity to show off certain skills just doesn’t come up that often in day-to-day life. It wasn’t until after getting married that one man discovered his wife’s pretty unique talent:
“My wife can make balloon animals and I never knew it. One day were sitting at home with the kids and after I brought home the wrong type of balloons out of nowhere she twists up a dog, then a monkey.”
It’s a pretty common joke that couples will hide their more unappealing natural human functions from one another until after they get married. It wound up being much more than a joke for one couple:
“How gassy my husband is. The moment we got home from the courthouse he let one rip and hugged me saying I have to accept this now. He’d never farted in front of me before. He farts so much.”
Living together before marriage can help couples figure out how they really act at night. Unless you’d rather be surprised by an endless supply of hilarious stories:
“About to celebrate 2 months of marriage, so I’m still part of the newlywed club. My husband and I didn’t live together until after we got married and I discovered his sleep talking…which happens almost every night. He’s had full conversations with me thinking my name was Steve-o, yelled ‘two players now, who’s going down,’ but my personal favorite is when he rolled over and said, ‘I just know it’s gonna be a Happy Halloween soon.'”
Some of us are picky eaters, but going your whole life without ever eating one of the most common foods in the nation is pretty insane:
“He had never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his life, and I found this out when we were married for more than five years. I made him his first pb&j when he was 30, and he was blown away by how good it was.”
For certain people, marriage changes everything:
“That he takes the title of ‘husband’ very seriously. It’s almost like I married a different person that’s way more responsible than the person I dated. He dragged his feet to get a job and contribute when we were dating, and now he’s kicked it up ten notches.”
PB & J isn’t the only food that spouses have discovered their significant others had gone their whole life without trying:
“He had never, in 35 years, tasted cucumber. Went to a spa for our first anniversary, and with a horrified face, he told me, ‘Oh god, I think this water has gone bad….’ The cucumber water in the ice cold dispenser. We discovered my husband hates, absolutely hates the taste of cucumber that day.”
Not In Sync
Not everyone is happy about when the “I” suddenly becomes a “we” after marriage… especially if it messes with your sleep schedule:
“After dating for seven years and well-establishing that I like to sleep in when I don’t have plans, we got married. Suddenly, idk why, apparently ‘we’ had a bedtime AND in the morning, it was suddenly ‘time for us to get up.’ Had to have a stern conversation with my morning-person husband about that real quick. If there’s stuff we have to do, yeah sure, but if it’s a lazy Sunday, leave me alone and go play video games alone.”
Double The Fun
You don’t really talk genetics on the first date, but your family background can find some pretty monumental ways to pop up during milestone moments in a marriage:
“That twins run in her family, both sides. Found out during an ultrasound when they said there are 2 babies in there.”
You can be with someone for decades and still discover new skills when the environment is finally right:
“My wife can speak french. We are on vacation last February in Papeete, Tahiti French Polynesia. My wife starts talking french to everyone talking french. WE’VE BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS!”
Never get married before you’ve spent allergy season together:
“Her sneezes are loud as f—. Seriously, I never heard her sneeze before we were married. She’s a small person. But I could be in my office, with the door closed, while she is in the master bedroom across the house, again with the door closed. And I hear ACHOOOOO Then I text her ‘bless you.'”
A Whole New Man
Some couple’s simply decide to get married for pragmatic reasons and keep their wedding more officious than romantic. But despite that, wedding’s have a way of drawing out the sentimental, romantic side of even the most unexpected grooms:
“I literally only discovered this the moment we were married — that he has a very romantic side.
All the time we were together before, I probably would have said I would have liked a little more traditional romance, but I appreciated how straightforward and pragmatic he was about other things and thought I can’t have it both ways. I could add that he is a theoretical physicist who works with engineers, and he has the personality to match. He always said he thought marriage was essentially meaningless. Eventually, for external reasons, we decided to do it (I proposed to him, by the way, with a new watch). We threw together a cheap little ceremony in a few weeks to “get it over with” as we both put it.
He put on his suit, I put on my pretty dress, we had the officiant there (that I found on Yelp two weeks before) and got started. However, when it came time for the vows and the ring exchange, I suddenly found myself facing a very sentimental man, who was clearly deeply in love with me and overjoyed to be marrying me. After that, the same man who took years to feel comfortable holding my hand in public for even five minutes was hugging and kissing me in front of everyone at every moment he could during the ceremony. Then he wanted to celebrate every “week-iversary” then every “month-iversary” with romantic dinners and having the same cake we had at our wedding. He starts celebrating at 12:01 AM on our anniversaries. He gazes lovingly at his wedding ring and always wants me to do the Wonder Twins thing with him by clicking our rings together. Who’d a thunk it?”
Some of the initially annoying traits you learn about your significant other later on actually turn out to be pretty helpful:
“My wife has very strong opinions on natural foods, added sugars, preservatives, and organic growing methods. After we got married I noticed that several staples of my diet were slowly being phased out. The other shoe didn’t fully drop until we had kids, at which point everything was evaluated for content before purchase, and many things were just barred from being brought into the house.
This isn’t a bad thing, I’m healthier than I have ever been in my life, but she didn’t show any of the signs of being this crunchy before we got married.”
Lost My Appetite
People just have different tastes, and discovering a food habit in a spouse that absolutely repulses you can definitely cause some contention. Apparently, though, putting ketchup on mac and cheese is actually a somewhat common thing. Who knew?:
After 5 years of dating I felt confident I knew everything about my wife. WRONG! That sick, disgusting, vile woman puts ketchup on her macaroni and cheese!! F—ing KETCHUP DOES NOT GO ON MACARONI AND CHEESE!! It’s nauseating just thinking about it.
Most people are well aware of the fact that they are marrying a football star as its happening. But, apparently, not everyone:
“My sister found out 3 yrs into her relationship that her husband used to be an NFL wide receiver for the Green Bay Packers. She thought he just played beer league football casually with his friends.
They were sitting around watching a football game on tv and he knew really specific details about certain players. She was asked him how he knew all this and he said he was pretty good friends with him. The conversation kept going and he finally admitted to playing in the NFL with him.
His family would never talk about it either. She would be over at his house and his sister told her that his college games were ‘pretty fun’ to go to. She never brought up that he was the star wide receiver playing in front of 70,000 people.”