Weddings are a time for love, laughter and definitely not these wedding no-nos. Brides, grooms and wedding guests share the worst of the worst when it comes to what NOT to do at a wedding.
Don’t even get me started.
Wedding DJ here, as well as an officiant at a few. Lets get started.
DO NOT GET ENGAGED AT A F__ING WEDDING. DON’T DO IT. DON’T BE THAT F__ING ASSHOLE. If you want to get engaged, do it after the wedding is done, maybe on your way home, but you’re essentially taking spotlight away from people that paid quite a bit of money to be there. Yes, even if you have permission, don’t do it.
You are not the photographer (unless you are then ignore this) so don’t spend the entire wedding taking pictures. Take some, sure, but let the photographer do their job. Your shitty cell-phone recording isn’t going to mean much when they paid a guy quite a hefty sum of money to be there with professional equipment.
Lastly, DO NOT request songs that you don’t know the f__ing words to, and therefore don’t know the f__ing meaning to. Yeah, sure, you want me to play Hallelujah as a slow dance song? The song about betrayal and love lost and “cold and broken hallelujahs”? I remember hearing Lips of an Angel at a wedding once and wondering who thought that was a good idea. Also, while “meme” songs are funny, leave them out. When a DJ plays Gangnam Style at a wedding and the 3 people that can’t let things go get up to dance, while everyone just leaves the dance floor, it’s a good sign.
EDIT: Oh, one more that was said but I want to really drive it home…do NOT go to the bride and groom about things going wrong. I had that at my wedding and had to be the one running around handling everything. Then again, it didn’t help when I spent over $1k on food for a 100 attendee wedding and within the first hour we were supposedly “out of most things”. Found out later that my (now ex-)wife’s mom and friends basically were storing food to the side and after the wedding they left with most of it. Regardless, find the mother/father of either the bride or groom, or ask the best man and maid of honor, or the wedding coordinator if there is one, but leave the bride and groom alone unless it’s absolutely something that cannot be fixed. Source
Welp, that’s awkward.
Answering with a well timed fart instead of saying “I do.” Source
Two brides, one day?
I read a story on reddit where a girls sister wore her old wedding dress to her wedding because she “didn’t think it made sense to wear the dress only one time. And that this was a good occasion” sooo…that…don’t do that.
Edit for clarity: we will call the bride jane and the sister sara.
Jane was getting married. Sara showed up as a guest in the dress that she(sara) had gotten married in the year before. Two women were dressed as brides, only one woman was supposed to be. Source
RSVP. Don’t assume the hosts know you are coming/can’t make it.
Don’t show up if you rsvp’d no. Theres no spot for you, they paid in advanced for the food.
Don’t stay home if you rsvp’d yes. Emergencies are acceptable and understood, but just because you didn’t feel like it isn’t a good enough reason. They paid a shit ton of money to have space and food for you.
DON’T WEAR A WHITE DRESS MOM! YOU’RE 46 YOU KNOW THAT A SATIN CREAM FLOOR LENGTH DRESS IS INAPPROPRIATE, I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU LOST.
Don’t propose/announce pregnancy ect unless you have talked to bride and groom. Even then you will still get some dirty looks from guests.
Don’t bring your kids if they weren’t invited. How do you know? Check your invite for names and number of seats reserved for you. They didn’t forget that you have 3 kids, they don’t want them there. If you are unsure, ask politely, don’t assume. Source
Shots, shots, shots, Nana!
Don’t include the brides beloved Nana in every round of shots or she might pass out at her table and everyone might think she’s dead and get hysterical. Source
Divorces and weddings DON’T go hand-in-hand, do they?
My grandfather announced he was divorcing my grandmother at my parents wedding…. I’d say that should be a NO-NO. Source
Not cool Mom!
I went to a wedding where the mother of the bride had gotten engaged the night before (at the rehearsal). She then spent the entire reception at her daughter’s wedding running around and showing everyone her ring and talking about how she was engaged. It was extremely classless, although the bride handled it perfectly. She later admitted to being livid, but you couldn’t tell, which I found impressive. Source
It’s all about me, not you!
Announcing your own engagement. Source
I went to a wedding a few weeks back and the lady in front of us in the church was wearing the same white, high street store dress that I had bought to wear for my own wedding in October. I’d also seen it worn by a lot of brides from a wedding Facebook group I am a member of too.
It was white lace with a tulle skirt and gold embroidery. Basically, it was very bridal. She had random people in the street congratulating her as everyone walked to the reception venue across the village.
I found out later on from the bride, she’d been asked by several family members not to wear it and still did. Source
Asking your ex-GF, the bride, for a second chance. Source
The Last Call
Literally minutes before my wife and I got married, her cousin called needing directions. Keep in mind this is a cousin my wife is not close to at all, that she sees less than once a year, and that used to be totally estranged from my wife and mother-in-law. And the cousin not only called for directions, but insisted on getting the directions from my wife. I couldn’t even comprehend the universe she exists in where it is appropriate to ask the woman about to get married if she could put her last-minute wedding preparations on hold and give her cousin driving directions. Source
Phones Down People
If there is a professional photographer there get the hell out of the way. Put up your shitty cell phone with it’s awful flash. Good money was paid so that they could capture quality images of the event and people constantly jump in front of the photographer and screw up the lighting. Source
We’re just here for the photo op.
We recently got married and my wife had some family come that I’ve never met before. One of them came equipped with some ridiculous camera and lenses and basically proceeded to photograph the event as their immediate family’s attendance at it, not as our wedding. Literally after we took family pictures (some of which they were in) they came up to the exact spots and were taking their own without us. I don’t really care, our whole goal for the wedding was just for everyone to have a good time, which would allow us to have a great time. I just find it odd more than anything. Who thinks while they’re at a wedding “I should make sure to document everything we did at X & Y’s wedding”? And I could’ve understood if it was like one or two instances, but it was the entire night. There would be times where our photographers were taking pictures of us and this relative would be doing almost everything our photographers were doing but taking pictures of their family instead. I didn’t really notice it until the next day when my wife showed me the pictures they posted on Facebook from our wedding and of the 30+ pictures they posted only 2-3 of them actually had us in them. Source
Not the time for a tickle fight, sir.
Tickling the person who sat next to you when they say “Speak now or forever hold your peace” and everyone turns around. Source
But it’s MY day!
Letting your 9 year old throw a tantrum because he’s not the center of attention. I’ve seen that at not only a wedding, but at a funeral as well. Same kid. Source
The Rambunctious Guests
Bringing a child to a child-free wedding. We had a child-free wedding this year, all the guests knew and then a couple (who we had told personally to not bring their child) turned up with their baby. Really put me in a sour mood with them and caused issues with people asking why their child was allowed but not their own. Source
Not the time, not the time.
Doing anything that draws attention away from the happy couple and on to you. For example my cousin came out during his best man’s speech during is brothers wedding……Really you could not let someone have that one day in the spotlight? Source
There’s no going back.
Spelling out “help me” in tape on the groom’s shoes so when he kneels everyone sees it. Source
This isn’t a country wedding.
Wearing jeans! Unless it’s a field wedding with camping and hotdogs (I went to one this summer) you can try a little bit. You don’t need an expensive suit or dress to look respectful. Source