Cross Country Move
“I lost my best friend over her wedding. I moved across the country for my job and it threw me into a pretty rough and lonely year as well as financially tough, a cross country move is more expensive than you may think. I told her I couldn’t fly back for the pre-wedding festivities because it was too expensive, but I would absolutely be there for their destination wedding in the Caribbean. When I arrived at the wedding all of the bridesmaids were incredibly rude to me, the bride barely spoke to me, and didn’t even take a photo with me at her wedding – I was the co-maid of honor (she demoted me from MOH, which I was totally ok with because I was unable to be there for fittings although I offered to try and skype in they told me there was no need). Her parents made a lot of snarky comments about great it was I could at least afford to do SOMETHING for their daughter. They also had a destination wedding and got mad I didn’t buy her an expensive enough gift (I spent $300)… It cost me $2000 just to get there – another Bridesmaid and I had to stay on the other side of the island because the hotel the wedding was at was $1400/night. No guests were able to afford it and a lot of people didn’t bring gifts because getting there cost them so much money. We have a cordial but not friendly relationship now” (source).
“Met this girl at the beginning of university, we were in the same courses, and then became pretty close friends. Thought we we still very close, until last month, when she sent me a text saying I hadn’t ‘spent enough on her gift for her wedding’ and that ‘it’s not about money, but she thought I would have put more thought and effort in, especially since she’s helped me groceries once in the past, and defended my financial position to others.’ Felt pretty f–cking awful. I told her I needed an apology, considering I had spent well over $120 on her wedding and engagement gifts, and it all blew up from there. She refused to apologize, and I haven’t bothered to contact her since. Still really upset about it actually” (source).
“Up until about three weeks ago, my former best friend and I were super close, same schedule, courses, the works. I helped her pick out the date and location, seating plan, altered the dress hem… But once I mentioned I wasn’t able to pay more than a good hundred and I certainly could not afford the $600 dress (she wanted a dress code, everyone in their color choice of this one dress) she flipped. She doesn’t have a student loan, and she’s fairly well-off so I first put it down to just not understanding financial issues some of us have. Several attempts to explain and I’ve given up. Some people are just… I don’t even know”(source)
“I lost one of my childhood best friends — over my own wedding. It was 2011, and I was well into my first year in the Marines. Since I was away training, my wife had to do much of the wedding preparations back home, with the help of my family. My then-best friend was to be one of the groomsmen; yet he flaked on every part of the wedding. He would come up with an excuse to not get measured for his tux (my own mother picked him up and took him to the Men’s Warehouse, so it got done), ended up not paying for it, and didn’t show up to the rehearsal dinner. The night before the wedding, I got a phone call from him, saying he had to work the day of, and couldn’t get the time off (which in some cases would have been understandable had he not gotten his schedule several days prior). So, we had an awkward empty space where a groomsman should have been, and we haven’t spoken since”(source).
“High school friend and previous crush that never connected romantically but were close in the platonic sense. Skip forward to post college about 8 years later and she’s engaged getting ready to be married. My girlfriend and I are both in the wedding party and are busting our butts arranging, folding origami, altering dresses etc and getting everything ready. Wedding goes well. After the wedding they go buy a house. She asks me to come paint, I say I can’t for whatever reason. She withholds a job recommendation so I can’t get the job at all. Never talked again, its been almost 10 years now” (source).
“After graduating high school my close friend somehow got a boyfriend, got married, and had a baby within a year and a half. I was completely baffled, felt like I barely knew her after knowing her for 6 years at that point. She lived a life time in a year and I was too confused and not ready for this as I was only 18 by the time she said ‘I do’ and 19 when her daughter was born. Our friendship took a hit but I remained true. I was at her very small wedding and went alone as most other friends shunned her for being too quick. I had come around during her pregnancy. I gave her gifts and support since I knew she was a little scared. After the baby was born I tried to set up days to hang out. She couldn’t because of the baby. What about me come there? Yeah, ok I did that. Only I would drive 45 minutes to her house for the next few months. Never came to me. Then she would ask if we could go out almost every time I came over. I didn’t have a lot of money as a freshman/sophomore in college but I made due. Then a few times she asked if I could pay because she’s a little broke, after she and her daughter ate. Uh…ok. Then what broke the camels back was the last time I saw her. I walked into her gross house that I helped clean numerous times, I mean afraid to sit down dirty, and she asked if I could watch the kid as she ran to the bank to get me the money she owed me and her husband was going to go too as he’s the only one with a valid license. I start to protest that I don’t know what I’m doing as they walk out the door. I get the door slammed on my face and here I am holding a child I feel terrible for but I do not want. I didn’t get married and pregnant at 18. This isn’t going to be my life. I plopped the kid in front of the TV and waited. And waited. And waited. After 4 hours and 100 calls and texts they come back half drunk and giggly. And no money. I was just a free babysitter so they can go get hammered. I walked out of that house and never looked back. Never answered a call or text or anything from here again. I was a mat to walk on but just because you hate your new life doesn’t mean I have to suffer too. I feel sad sometimes because she was my first real friend. But I won’t be a teen mom for her” (source)
Maid Of Honor Troubles
“My wedding is 2 months away. So far my horrible, evil, friendship-ruining wedding has caused some major issues. My maid of honor (best friend of 10 years) now regrets accepting the MOH title because she can’t find a date and now doesn’t want to go because that’s somehow my weddings fault” (source).
“My former boss, and one of my best friends, was a professional caterer. I’d known her for more than 10 years. She agreed to cater the wedding, but would not let me give her a deposit because she said that part was her ‘present’ to me. We settled on a final fee, which was reasonable ($1500 for 75 people) and I asked her to tell me when she needed the check. She helped me plan all the food choices and we sent out the invitations four months ahead with return cards so people could mark their choice of entree. I checked in with her several times and she said all was well. Finally, 3 weeks before the wedding I called and said ‘Should I write you a check soon? I don’t want you to have to lay out money for all the food.’ She chose THAT MOMENT to tell me she hadn’t prepped or purchased anything and didn’t intend to go through with catering it. She said she figured we would elope at some point or cancel the wedding. Furthermore, she told me she wasn’t even coming to the wedding because AND I QUOTE ‘You and your husband aren’t even Christians. Your marriage won’t last. I’m going to my other friend’s wedding, because they’re Christians and God will bless them in a way he won’t bless you.’ I cried for about two straight days, and then I called all around trying to find an emergency caterer who could come in at short notice. I found one (it cost me $2500 though) and they made all the things she and I had planned. Epilogue of the story? The caterer knew some of my wedding guests (small town) and told everyone he knew what this other person had done to me. Everyone was mad. My former boss got so much negative backlash from reviews and word of mouth she eventually closed her catering business (I’m not saying it was all because of this, but it sure didn’t help). Her other friends ended up getting divorced in less than a year because he beat her (God was clearly not involved in that). My husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this May”(source).
“I recently just lost my best friend over her wedding. She really hurt my feelings and when I told her that she hurt my feelings she basically told me to go f–ck myself. Weddings are super stressful to plan and I think some people just lash out in their relationships where they think there will be no backlash for it. Whatever… I’m saving a ton of cash now”(source).
“We had met when we I was 19 and stayed in contact through a couple moves, heartbreaks, getting sober, everything. I moved back and we were both busy working full time and going to school full time. It was understandable that we didn’t get to hang out a lot. My wedding was last June. She RSVP’d in May. I invited her to the wedding shower…. No response. I invited her to the bachelorette party…. No response. The day of the wedding came and went and I realized she wasn’t there. I tried one last time to check in with her to see if everything was okay… No response. And that’s exactly as much effort as I’m willing to put into that relationship”