He Had No Idea What He Was In For

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He Had No Idea What He Was In For

'Oh my god, you have to leave! My boyfriend got off work early and if he finds us he'll kick me out!'

This is the first I'm hearing of a SO, and I realize that I just slept with a chick on her boyfriend's bed after she bought breakfast with money he gave her (she told me she doesn't work and that she cheated on her boyfriend because she didn't love him but needed a place to stay, so really I'm guessing it was his money).

I throw on half my clothes, jump into my car, and knock over the mailbox in my rush to get my idiot self out of dodge. When I get home, I see that my rear bumper has a nice new crack."

He Bit Off A Lot More Than He Could Chew

Dean Drobot/Shutterstock

He Bit Off A Lot More Than He Could Chew

"Once in the throes of desperation, I decided to try and meet someone on Craigslist. I found a posting that seemed like a nice, not insane, fairly reasonable person that seemed to have common interests and we got along pretty well during our email exchange.

We met up at a local outdoor mall to walk around and chat for a bit and decide where to go from there. She....was far bigger than I had been led to believe, had definite facial hair, and smelled terrible. Like a trooper, I decided to stick it out, because maybe she's really nice in person. I figured worst case scenario, contact with someone who wasn't a coworker or my family would be nice.

Over the course of the date, she made multiple references to how nice it was to see so many other couples out and about that day and attempted to name our future children and discuss weddings. There were some other red flag conversations that I don't recall, but it was....odd.

There was not a second date."

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