"In our dorm all of the window screens were fastened by screws. There were no female visitors allowed after 10:00PM. I removed the screws from my ground floor window, and passed the word to the entire dorm that any visitors were welcome to pass through. It wasn't long before I had girls knocking on my window at all hours of the night. I would remove the screen, open the window, help them climb through, send them in the right direction, and replace the screen and close the window. The Resident Assistants never knew, as my room was directly opposite from the front office. So...you could say I was a wingman for the entire dorm."
"Went out with a large group of friends for my best friends birthday, ended up in a club. My friend had been drinking heavily throughout the day, and we were meant to be meeting up with a group of girls later on, one of whom was a long time interest he'd had. Just as we arrived at the club, he threw up, EVERYWHERE. I mean just all down himself and just looked horrible. Anyway, as was expected, he sobered up pretty soon after, and just kept saying how he couldn't believe he'd blown his chance with this girl. A few friends said he should just go home and call it a night but he was getting more and more upset because apparently she'd said it was a sure thing if he met up with her. Now, he didn't have much luck with the girls and I really wanted this for him, so I took him to a nearby alley and (after actually having to convince him to make this happen) got him to switch clothes with me. He went in, had a great time, and has now been with the girl for about 3 years. I went home in a taxi covered in sick."
"With buddy at a bar, meet a guy and girl we thought were a couple, be social and find out not. The girl is clearly interested in my buddy, so I team up with other dude to go hunt. Find out he's gay, and really likes my style. I owed my buddy big time for past events and he played the card. So I pretended to be bi-curious with the other dude, until the end of the night when my friend left with the girl. Then I calmly explained the situation, to which he responded "You give me a kiss right now, and I wont call her and c---block your friend"
Gave the dude a powerkiss, he loved it, I realized how awful beards are to be face smashed against. Confirmed my heterosexuality and went home alone."
"I am a girl and pretended to be "with" my guy friend because this hot chick was really freaky and wanted a threesome with a couple. We hit on her for an hour or so, I left and he kept dancing with her, assuring her that his girlfriend wouldn't mind. He brought her home and I just happened to never show up for the threesome.
He SO owes me for that one."
"My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and s---. At around 1 am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend f'ing this girl in my basement. What do I do? I go to Pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that s--- to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the ~three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. My buddy ended up having "the best f'ing time ever bro" but there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning."
"So this girl was really into my roommate and she didn't know how to go about getting him interested in her. I didn't mention that he was already into her because I figured things would work, nature would take over. but I know that my roommate never really had a girlfriend that liked to actively give blowjobs and that he really wanted a Girlfriend who he wouldn't feel bad about asking for one. So I texted her a little "guide to my roommate" and inside i explained that his biggest turn on and favorite thing ever is spontaneous blow jobs.
so after a few days they started seeing each other. Months later I had asked how they were doing and he explained " Man, I don't know what her deal is but she is crazy about blow jobs! ive never had so many in my life, its fantastic!"
I felt like a child's parent after hiding money from the tooth fairy under their pillow."
"So I had this friend, a white and nerdy type, 18 and eager to lose his virginity. One night I decided to take him out to a house party and introduce him to another single friend, a hot chick (a naughty librarian type a girl). A couple of drinking late for both of them, they really start to hit it off, so I walk off to do my thing. The night is great, dancing, drinking and f'ing around. Then I see my friend at the bar/kitchen bench surrounded by 2 guy pushing, and yelling at him. Naturally I walk over to sort this out. Apparently he spilled a drink of one of the guys, and the guy was pissed that his socks are wet. I try to talk thinks out without resulting to violence, which clearly isn't working. So I tell my friend to go back to the girl, and I stay back and deal with this ass hole. Thus I ended out getting into a fight with these two blokes outside (mainly getting the s--- beat out of me) while my friend was getting his brains f'ed out in the bedroom upstairs. Still to this day haven't told about the fight."
"I had a party at my house and a lot of people ended up crashing there because they were way too drunk to drive home. All the rooms were occupied except for mine. My buddy met this girl and really wanted to hook up with her but had no where to do it, so I offered up my lovely, innocent bed to get his groove on. I slept on the ground in the other room and woke up the next morning with a note thanking me, a $20 bill, and my sheets in the washing machine."
"My buddy (lets call him blake) and I were at the bar sometime last year. the bar isn't really my scene but blake convinces me to go out with him anyways. so there we are drinking PBR and vibing to s---ty music (NOT my scene!) when all of a sudden blake says, "Dude those two chicks over there are checking us out man!" Low and behold ones a 8/10 other is a 5/10 on her best day... sure enough he begs me to wingman for him and convincingly expresses his desires of trying to get her to leave with him or number at least. So, after some contemplation, we approach them. Now the original game plan was to triple "Cs" it (play it cool, calm, collected) but almost immediately after we walk up I spill some of my beer on 8/10 chicks feet. in my defense i was a little tipsy and trying to dance-walk my way over. blake sees this and didn't miss a beat, as he slipped: "He's retarded" after giving my name. of course both girls assume he actually meant I was retarded so they both thought he was a down to earth guy for partying with his special friend. I catch the hint as i can already see the 8/10 immediately flirting with blake. I played it off like I couldn't tell what was going on all night. eventually they go their own way while 5/10 and I talk about growing up being bullied.
blake left with his girl (eventually f'ed that night). 5/10 dropped me off at my house..
s---. was. hell."
"My dorm neighbor was having his girlfriend over but had nowhere to fool around since his roommate also had a girl over. Being nice i gave him my room and planned to sleep in my other neighbors room.
I slept in my neighbor on the other sides room.... Until he starts having phone sex with HIS girlfriend.
I ended up sleeping in the hallway on the floor with a pillow and a quilt."
"I started talking to a group of attractive girls at a party shortly before introducing my girlfriend. After a short while I began asking them about college sports...
Me: Do any of you watch college basketball? Them: No. Not really. Me: So you've never seen Princeton play? Them: No..? Me: So you don't recognize that dude over there? (Points to my tall friend Justin?) Them: No. Should we? Me: (To friend) Justin. Come here. Justin: Yes? Me: I was just talking to these girls about how you got a full ride to Princeton as their starting point guard.
(This was before smart phones) His other friends kept coming up to him "congratulating him" on his scholarship while he has a girl on each knee, one rubbing his shoulders, and two more surrounding him all night."
"Posted this in another thread but I count Kevin Spacey as my best wingman. Not really crazy but still awesome. Probably will not be seen. But Kevin Spacey is awesome in person. When I first met him I thought he would be a total dick. I was visiting New York with a friend of mine and my friend took me to my first Broadway play. Which being from a small town in the south was f'ing spectacular. I mean the effects and everything. I recommend to go see a play in New York to everyone. But anyway we were walking out of the theater and my friend who hid his pint in his leather jacket going in. Asked if I wanted some so I said sure. Then it his me like a mack truck like how about we go in the bathroom and drink because no cops should be around. So we go into the bathroom and there is this one guy pissing so we act like we are washing our hands which seemed like forever (we got pretty toasted before the show). The guy walks out and we start swigging away on it to finish it.
So in comes Kevin Spacey, my friend and I are dumbfounded.....my first thought was hide the bottle in my hand and my second thought was this is Kevin Spacey he smoked weed in American Beauty. So he just walks in and gives us a nod, uses the urinal and while he's pissing says (to this day I will never forget it), "Are you here for the show or to watch me piss?"...Since I was lit I blurted out we are here to drink. My friend slaps me upside the head and nothing but silence. He zips up and turns around and says good so am I. He whips out a flask and we pass him our pint. We BS for a couple minutes, he says it was nice to meet you and whatever....but the best thing was is this....I told him this is my first time in New York and was wondering if there was any good bars. He said try such and such....my friend and I looked at each other then he left. We walked out thinking he probably thought we were gay....so long story short...we go to this bar and mention Kevin Spacey said come here after we got out of this show.
Apparently he called ahead and told the guy what we were wearing and everything was comped. We did not run up a huge tab or anything but we were sat in the VIP section and everyone looked at us like we were gods. Also we got laid that night. The tab was probably like three hundred dollars and we told the manager we wanted to pay....he said no....so we left the woman who waited on us a $200 tip....also we took a couple women to our hotel room and had some more fun. My friend passed out after doing Tequila shots with the women.....so long story short Kevin Spacey hooked me up with my first and only threesome to this day I do not tell this very often because no one believes me. But rest assure if you meet him he is a godsend."
"I only get partial credit for this one because I didn't actually do anything, but it's still my favorite. So, every year a bunch of friends and I go to DragonCon in Atlanta. Last year I couldn't go because I was deployed in Afghanistan, so my buddy decided to get a 5 foot tall print of a picture of me, paste it to a board, and carry it around the whole time. Apparently it was a great conversation starter and the whole "I'm bringing my friend here in spirit" thing played extremely well. He ended up sleeping with some girl dressed as Lara Croft."
"I have a moderate gambling problem.
Went to Atlantic City with some friends and actually had a successful night, making about $500 at the poker table. It was about 2AM and I for once made the responsible decisions to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and while I was ahead.
I am the first one back to the room and go to sleep. Some time later, my friend comes back with a young lady. They make small talk about her life collecting tolls and living under bridges, harassing billy goats, etc.
It soon becomes clear that my friend intends to bed this girl. He makes a move but she rebuffs him, uncomfortable with the fact that I am (they think) sleeping in the other bed. I was going to just continue to lay there so as to cock-block my friend and prevent him from making this mistake, but it became clear my friend really wanted to do this. So I "awoke", and said "gosh that was a great nap, I feel refreshed and ready to go back down to the casino."
Since there was nothing else to do, I started gambling again. I didn't want to go back to the poker table so I sat down at the slots, where I proceeded to piss away the $500 profit and another $300 for good measure."
"I had a gf, was trying to hook my buddy up with a hot crazy chick that kept trying to f--- me. Got them together at a party at my apt, everyone drinking, she walks up and asks "do you want to Both go to your bedroom?"
She had offered thinking I'd finally agree to (have sex with) her. While definitely questionable, I'm not the cheating type, but I needed to get my boy laid so I agree into the bedroom. We go in, they start (having sex) - I'm watching, mind blown by what's happening. She starts begging me to (join in) because "that doesn't count as cheating" I keep pretending I'm thinking about it, mind still blown, and I don't cheat. Weird image of the night: buddy (having sex) while she ignores him and holds my foot begging me to (join). Weirdest night of my life. But she was hot and my buddy got laid."
"Well it wasn't me. I was the friend.
This was in high school. My friend and me were at a party before graduation. There was this girl who I was really interested in. He brought her over, built me up, and we ended up hooking up. We were all various levels of drunk at that point, but he ended up volunteering to drive us home in my car to help us out. He dropped us off and asked if he could take the car for the night and bring it back the morning after. I agreed so he wouldn't be stuck there. I went inside and it went okay.
The next morning, the car wasn't there. I was upset because I figured I would at least be able to give her a ride home. I tried calling him but got no answer. We ended up walking somewhere to get breakfast. We got there, sat down, and my phone rang. It was a friend of mine and my friend. He was asking me if I heard what happened, I said no. He sounded upset and I immediately got a bad feeling.
My friend had gotten into an accident, totaling the car. He died in the hospital of internal bleeding. We sat at the table for what seemed like forever, both feeling guilty as hell in some way. Ill never forget my friend, who died after setting me up with my first time, and girlfriend of 2 years."