"My infant son had developed a lump on his chest that he had to have removed, I was really scared. After the consultation with the surgeon, I wanted to talk to the anesthesiologist but I had to wait a while because he was busy. My ex-husband started whining about being bored and wanted to leave and I wouldn't, so he left us there and drove home. A nurse overheard the whole thing and came in and told me she was sorry. I said, 'Me too.' One of the worst moments of my life...My son was ok, by the way, and I kicked that a--hole out."
"When he canceled our trip to Disneyland because his mother called from across the country and told him to drop everything and condo hunt for her. She didn't trust his ability to live on his own and decided to move near us to keep tabs on him. He didn't see why cancelling our trip at the whim of his puppeteer was a problem. He was 27 years old."
"I watched my best friend die horribly in an accident. Was there when it happened, rode with him to the hospital in the ambulance, was standing there when the doctors pronounced him, waited there until the folks from the morgue downstairs came to get the body, then called his family and told them. That all took pretty much the entire night, and I had had an exam the previous day so I had pulled an all-nighter then as well, so by the end of it I had been awake for about 49 hours. Came staggering into my apartment at 6 am, saw my fiancé, and burst into tears. I told him what happened, he stared at me for a second, then said, 'You know, we are supposed to have a breakfast date with Chris and Annie in like an hour. Are you seriously going to bail on that?'
Yep. Broke up with him that evening when I woke up. Have never regretted it."
"I was working a new job, with a 1-year-old baby, and was still breastfeeding. My sex drive wasn't what it normally is. Phone bill came in, $200 worth of phone sex charges. I sat him down, reminded him that our budget was way too tight for that, explain I don't have a problem with phone sex per se, but if we had $200 to blow, I'd let him see other women if he needed to blow off steam that bad- but we don't have an extra $200 right now. He apologized, we had a good discussion about getting our intimacy on the right track.
Next month's cell phone bill is $800. It was higher than our rent at the time. We literally could not pay the bill. I found I actually could afford more by moving out--he spent more than he made even without the crazy phone sex charges."
"I was living in Florida, homesick for New York, fighting with the crazy blonde girl I'd moved in with.
Suddenly, in the bathroom, she threw a right hook. I blocked it. She threw a left...I blocked that, too. As I stood there holding both her wrists, she kicked me square in the balls.
In the four or five seconds I had before the pain kicked in, I threw her into a tight headlock. Together we fell to the floor of the bathroom, locked in combat, cursing and screaming at one another.
Over her muffled screams, writhing beneath the toilet, I had a moment of intense, overwhelming clarity. As I stared curiously at the dirt and grime around the base of the bowl, a calm stole over me. It was at that EXACT moment that I knew the relationship was over. All of the fighting, all of the caring, all of the stupid s--- I'd done to keep things going...it all seemed so totally absurd. Every ounce of desire I had to still be with her was completely gone.
So I let go of my girlfriend and started laughing hysterically. My laughter took all the wind out of her sails. Instantly there was fear in her eyes. 'What?' she asked. 'Why are you laughing?' But I only shook my head and smiled. I was already thinking about whether I wanted to sell my motorcycle and fly home, or somehow drive it back to NY.
Within days, I'd sold my stuff and moved out. She begged and pleaded, of course, but the decision had been made. I'm still in NY and happier than ever, but I'll never forget the floor under that toilet."
"Everything was okay until I actually married her. After that, things went downhill fast. The biggest problem was that I started to get sick constantly. I had always had good health up until marrying her. Our relationship was always seemed to get better when I was sick and helpless. One day, everything came into focus. We had a guest over and they went to use the mayonnaise in the fridge. My wife freaked out and literally ran across the kitchen to grab it out of his hand. She calmly walked over and handed it to me, saying I was the only one allowed to eat the mayonnaise. It was then that I realized she was probably, intentionally, poisoning me.
She was widowed when I met her. I can't help wonder if her late husband was her victim. After we had split and I was waiting to file for divorce (in Canada you have to wait one year before filing for an uncontested divorce), she phoned me up out of the blue and wanted to know specifics about my life insurance policy. This came after a few months of no communication and with no small talk. For the next few weeks, I found myself looking over my shoulder wondering if she had hired a hitman to whack me. Sound crazy? Besides my life insurance policy, I found out that she would have been able to collect a second federal survivor's death benefit from the government. She would have been able to continue collecting her late husband's and then mine. It sounds morbid, but I was worth more to her dead than alive."
"I had just given birth to my second child, and I asked my (now ex) husband to stay in the hospital with me overnight (just one night, we would be released the next day). He got this constipated look on his face and whined about how, 'You know I hate hospitals,' and begged, saying he could stay with our other child at home. He also said he'd bring me breakfast in the morning.
He didn't bring me breakfast. In fact, he was about three hours late picking me up. His dad showed up on time, and I sat in horrible, awkward, embarrassed pain while trying to pretend it didn't bother me. I found out later that he'd stayed up over half the night playing video games while my best friend took care of my kid. I didn't get breakfast at all, either, because by the time I realized he wasn't going to get there anytime soon, the kitchen had closed until lunchtime.
There are occasional moments where I think to myself, 'You know, maybe he wasn't THAT BAD of a husband,' and then I remember that morning and feel like I managed to cut a huge dead weight out of my life."
"I was in an extremely physically abusive relationship for almost three years. I was punched, beat, hit, choked, etc. I nearly died on many occasions. Yet, I never left this person for fear that he would kill me if I left.
Now in any abusive relationship (most anyway), there is a cycle. After the I was abused, there was a 'honeymoon' period, where my boyfriend bought me stuff, was loving and tried to 'make up for' what he did. This led me to believe that I somehow deserved being beat...that normally this person was loving, but it was all my fault.
One day, we decided to go on a small vacation to a city nearby. It was wonderful. We were enjoying ourselves in a cheap hotel. I forget to mention my ex was a drinker, but he didn't always hit me when he was drinking.
Well, he decided to start drinking at the pool. I thought this was fine. We had to head to a family gathering, so we got in the car and took off.
Out of nowhere, he snapped. He started beating me as I was driving. It hurt like h---. I didn't know what to do. I pulled over and tried to get out of the car. He tore off my shirt! I was nearly naked near a busy road. I didn't care. I got out of the car and he punched my windshield. Somebody came to help and he ran off.
The person asked if I was ok and I said yes. He went back to work and didn't call the cops. I wish he did. I wish I did.
I was driving around and I called a friend. I didn't tell him about the beating, but I kind of fabricated a story. He told me NOT to go back to the hotel. I did.
Well, I knew it was inevitable. I heard a pounding at the door. I opened it, stupidly. I should have called the cops. He was with his mom and his aunt. Suddenly he ran up to me and punched me in the face, right in front of them both. His aunt jumped on him and started beating him.
But it was in that moment that something clicked. Of all the times he beat me, something about this moment made me realize that I had to get out. If he could beat me in front of his family, then...then...I don't know. I just finally realized it wasn't me. It wasn't my fault.
He does not know where I live now, but he still knows the general area. I always fear for my life. I sincerely believe this person could kill me. I always carry a knife with me."
"She poured a glass of water into my Xbox 360. Not because I was playing it too much or anything (there weren't any good games out that year) but because I walked away from an argument so we could both cool off and she 'wanted to hurt something she knew I loved.' These were days before I became a mechanic and had literally saved for months to buy that 360. She knew that.
She was crazy, super hot and awesome in bed, but full on, monkey nuts, crazy. The f---ed up thing is, I'm guessing she felt bad about it because I came home and was like, 'Babe, this is stupid and I don't wanna...WHY THE F--- IS MY XBOX IN THE OVEN!?!' Yeah, she tried to fix it by baking it at 300º Fahrenheit. Needless to say, she is long, LONG gone, and I replaced my fallen homie with a new version with built-in wi-fi. Gotta stay positive."
"I was once with somebody for nearly five years. I was in college, about 100 miles away, and not often home, but I made a good effort, coming by about twice a month or more back to her place.
She was never very grateful for this effort, and rarely visited me.
We had planned to go to a concert, however, my grandmother died and the wake was scheduled for the same time and day. She did not come to the wake. Not only that but for the following months, she held a grudge against me, lashing out and citing my failure to follow through on that date as a failing of mine.
Anyone so insensitive to do that should quickly be dumped."
"When I was a sophomore, I had my first girlfriend. She was a senior and pretty damn attractive if I do say so. I was feeling pretty good about myself...ANYWAY, we had been dating for about two months when we decided to hang out at her house for the first time. She gave me the grand tour of her house, we made out, went to her room, made out, and so on. She showed me some cool things she had collected over the years and as we were going through her jewelry box, I noticed a particularly cool looking ring. 'What's the story behind this one?' I asked.
Oh,' she responded, 'That's just a ring from my fiancé.'
Turns out, he was out of town for a while...in Iraq."
"We were having this conversation about open relationships for the 10th time when it suddenly dawned on me that I never wanted to have this conversation again. I told him, 'You know, I think you should f--- whoever you want.'
His face brightened. 'You do?' he asked, incredulous.
'Yes,' I said, 'It's obviously very important to you. So, I'm going to be out by the end of the week - and then you will be completely free to do as you please.' That was the end."
"The moment when I knew our relationship was over was when my ex-fiancé told me he had been cheating on me three months before our wedding. With a 14-year-old...wait for it...who was his FIRST cousin. Then told me he still wanted to work on our relationship. When I started to cry, he proceeded to choke me until I passed out and when I woke up, I discovered he had beat me up whilst I was unconscious. When I woke up, my jaw was broken, I had two black eyes, and I was in a pile of broken glass from where he had used my head to break a mirror. This guy was super f---ed up. There were other warning signs that I should have listened to before this, but I was young and in 'love.'"
"We had been dating three weeks. She stole a key off my keyring to my apartment and made a copy while I was at work. When I got home from work that day, she had basically moved in.
I mean...new carpet, pictures on my walls, her pillows all over my bed, and feminine products EVERYwhere in my bathroom.
Broke up with her the next day."
"My ex-girlfriend never really got along with my family, too many minor things had happened that caused a strain in their relationship. There were two cases that led me to realize there was no way in hell that we would work out. One was when she told me, 'Once we get married, you're stuck with me, and if you ever think of divorcing me, I will keep everything you ever worked for and make your life h---.' Mind you, this was about six months into our relationship. Later on, she said, 'Once we get married, you will no longer speak to your family, no contact with your siblings or your mother.' I ended that relationship not long after that."
"When I was curled up in his arms, a bit teary over something and just wanted to be held, and he proceeded to reach around and start fondling my boob. It sounds funny writing it out, but at the time it really knocked some sense into me. He was constantly pressuring me for 'sexy times' and I always had to be on guard around him because he was, all the time, trying to cram his hands down my shirt or pants. I couldn't even kiss him without him trying to turn it into a full-on makeout session/what-have-you. I even had to start wearing baggy clothes around him because if I wore anything the slightest bit revealing, he would be all over me twice as bad. That is, when he didn't start b----ing at me to take my clothes off the second we got behind a closed door.
In some ways, it was my fault, because I was struggling with realizing I wasn't attracted to men at all, so obviously, he wasn't getting a lot of fun, but he really didn't respect my boundaries or my wishes. Say what you want about desperation or blue balls, but if I was trying to fool around with someone and all they did was stare at the ceiling and act really sad or out of it, I would stop.
I'm now happily in a relationship (with a female) who respects me, and if there is anything sexual going on, we both want it just as much."
"When he said, 'I feel so lucky to be with you.' I realized then that I just didn't feel strongly about him at all and broke it off with him soon after. I realize that I sound like an absolute b----, but I figured it would be better for me to be honest than to stay with him since I didn't love him in the same way. I felt awful because he was such a sweet person, but then it just felt more awful to mislead him any further that I felt the same."
"After our eight year relationship, four of those years going straight downhill, I asked him if he would try couples counseling. He said no. He was absolutely against it. That's when I told him we should break up. I later found out the reason why he was so against it - because then it would come out that he had been cheating on me for five years."
"It wasn't when he left me at a bar to bang a girl in my truck.
It wasn't when I found XS Victoria Secret panties in his bed when I couldn't fit into their XL panties.
It wasn't when he dragged me through downtown Toronto because I wasn't walking fast enough (I walk with a cane).
It wasn't when he threw me to the ground and started kicking me when one of his friends bought me a beer at a concert.
It wasn't when he wouldn't allow me to eat anything other than one cup of white rice a day.
It was when an older gentleman at Costco told me I had beautiful eyes, and that he could tell the heavens would sing at my smile. It was really ridiculous, but he was so nice that I burst into tears. I was then dragged to the car. When we got back to the apartment, he was screaming and throwing me around, and I bit him. It was the only move available to me, and he stopped. He let go of me, but I was so afraid of the look in his eyes that I ran, and never looked back."
"When she got so angry in the middle of an argument that she started attacking me. I decided to let her cool down, pushed her off of me, and stormed out of the house. She followed me outside and tried to hurl a cooler at my head as I left.
The moment when I dodged the cooler, the only thought in my head was, 'Well f--- this crazy b----. I'm gone.'"
"I threw him a surprise 21st birthday party and invited all his friends, who all had a great time, as did he...Until he drank a handle of Jack, got in the tub fully clothed, tried to drown himself, saying, 'I'd rather die than spend another day with you.' Mind you, I worked three jobs to keep our apartment while he sat home and played Call of Duty all day. Needless to say, I was out after that."
"We had been dating for about three years and had just moved in together. One night we went to a show and we both had gotten quite trashed. I was laying limp in the booth and a lesbian friend of ours was taking care of me, wiping the sweat off my forehead as we waited for our cab.
When we get home, my ex lays into me about flirting with our lesbian friend. To prove that I don't love her, she locks herself in the bedroom and says she's going to kill herself.
Being an idiot who believed her, I broke the door down. She then began punching me. I back peddled until we were in the living room. I had enough, so I grabbed her by the arms and shoved her down on the couch.
'Oh, that's it! You just assaulted me! I'm calling the cops!'
She locked herself in the bathroom again. I just sat limp on the couch and waited for the cops to show up.
Except she didn't call the cops. She called my mother. At 2 am.
When I sobered up and woke up, I decided it was time to go our separate ways."